You Know You're Old and Married When......

the most romantic thing your husband can do for you is clean the house.

given the choice between sex and sleep, you'd rather go to sleep and dream about having sex.

your sexiest sleepwear is sweats and a t-shirt.

you no longer have the argument about leaving the toilet seat up; you just prepare yourself to perch on the edge. (Yes, you can do this half asleep!)

a romantic dinner is something that doesn't come out of a box and that can't be supersized.

you finish each other's sentences AND insults.

hearing them hack up a lung first thing in the morning and then lighting a cigarette no longer strikes you as peculiar.

you no longer ask them "Whatcha thinkin'?" because either you already know or you don't care or both.

you start to look like his mother and he starts to look like your father.

you can walk around all day in your rattiest clothes, with uncombed hair and no make-up and suffer no embarrassment.

you have caught him biting his toenails and spitting them across the room.

you don't even care if he goes into the kitchen naked....hey, at least he's cooking.