I am an anal person at times. Yes, I admit it. And even though I try hard not to be difficult there are just some things that I don't understand.
We have two adults and three kids in our house. Time (and hot water) are at a premium. Why does my husband, in his obsession with personal cleanliness, take 45 minutes to take a shower? Considering our hot water only lasts for ten minutes at a time, this means that he runs the hot water out and then waits for it to reheat so he can do it again. He is an average size guy, not a sumo wrestler. He doesn't have 45 minutes of body to clean. (And then he fusses at me because the electric bill is so high.....well DUH!)
According to most men, women are supposed to be the 'weaker sex'. Then why is it that men will cry (or at the very least pout) over any little thing? (I'm not, I repeat NOT, in reference to Grover here, just a guy or two I know.) They stub their toe, or burn themselves in the kitchen, or heaven forbid, get sick......oy vey....you NEVER hear the end of it.
Why is it that women have the reputation of being gossips but men gossip just as much, if not way more, than most women?
Why do men say that they are attracted to 'what's on the inside' of a woman. I have yet to have a man walk up to me and say "My, what a beautiful brain you have." No, normally they are looking a liiitttle bit lower than that.
What is the deal with breasts and butts for men anyway? They're a set of glands and a set of muscles. That's like saying 'mmmmmmmm.....that's a hot thyroid ya got there.'
Why, once you get in a relationship, do most men want their girlfriends/wives to stop wearing makeup? Do you want us to look like the grim reaper ALL the time?? Some things NEED to be covered up!
Why do so many women say that they look for a good sense of humor in a man when most of the time their aim is a liiiittttle bit lower too?
Note to all women who don't know any better yet: Big hands/big feet/big noses do NOT mean everything else is big okay??
Why do they call it a graham cracker when it is actually a cookie?
Why am I so abrasive sometimes?
Why do they call it a hamburger when there is no ham in it?
Who in the world decided that pickling eggs, pigs feet and pig ears would be a culinary delight?
Smart husbands know that the answer to "Am I fat?" is always a resounding NOOO! (whether it's true or not)
Smart customers know that discussing how little money you have in front of your waitress can put a damper on your dining experience.
Note to self: never ask a woman when her baby is due if she has not told you she is pregnant.
Note to men: never ask your significant other "What's wrong?" because she will probably tell you.
Note to women: ditto
Note to Grover: would you please get out of the shower now?
Peace alllll......
P.S. Congratulations to Joshua on taking second place in the school spelling bee. Now you can never again spell anything wrong or you are sure to hear about it ;)
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