Ramblings of A Mad, Mad Mind

My family frightens me. I mean that. My husband and kids and cat keep me in fear. Why?

Well, I gave my one year old a waffle (you know, one of those toaster thingies) for breakfast today. He throws the waffle in the floor and decided that the CAT is much tastier. And the baffling thing to me is, while he is chewing on the cat's TAIL (just the fur mind you not the actual skin), the cat is looking at him in adoration and just purring away.

I woke my husband up for work this morning (Heaven forbid he actually wake himself up) and I dozed back off. Woke up 5 minutes later with both of my children standing by my bed staring at me. Not saying anything, just staring at me like I was some sort of scientific experiment gone awry.

Grover (my beloved husband) smokes in the shower. That's right; in the middle of taking a shower. How does he DO that without getting his cigarette wet?

In the state of Alabama, where I live, it is illegal to flick boogers on Sunday and to spit in the presence of a female (these are old laws that just still happen to be on the books). My husband needs to be arrested for both of these crimes. Where is a cop when you need one??

My children won't play with their toys;however, they will dig out empty soup cans from the trash and play with them.

I hate it when people sit with their mouths hanging open. ( I know this has nothing to do with the subject at hand. Just a random thought.)

Whenever we are out in traffic and someone honks their horn, my husband will stick his head out of the window and yell "Yeah, you got a horn!". What in the world does this mean??? Meanwhile, I am looking for a free space in the floorboard.

They scare me, these strange male creatures in my house. They're loud, they're fussy, they will eat ANYTHING , they're messy and they laugh at the craziest stuff.

And if I wake up one more time with the cat standing on my chest and staring at me licking his chops, he is going out the window.

Peace all......