Hey guys and girls.....

Just wanted to let everyone know that we are all still alive and will be back to update as soon as possible!

Love ya allll!

Peace alllll!!!!!!!!

No Phones, No Lights, No Motorcars

Well, my husband's vacation starts this week. And this year he was given the option of deciding where we would go. Now, he could have chosen just about anything......the beach, Disneyland, a 5 day road trip....anything. So what did he decide, where does he want to go? Back to nature. He wants to go on a week long camping trip. Of course, to him it's not just camping. It's camping and fishing and boating and looking up at the stars at night. Grover, the Eagle Scout, wants to get back to his youth. I've no problem with that, except we got two youths that are coming with us. This should be fun. Blue skies, green trees.....bugs, snakes and assorted other animals. Whoo hoo!

And no phones (except the emergency cell), no tv, no stereo, no computer.......but plenty of BOOKS I can take with me. Hmmmm.....this might be better than I thought.

See you all in a week or so!

Peace alllll...............

I Don't Make This Stuff Up

I don't make this stuff up.....I promise I don't.

My children are dangerous. There are many reasons for this. One, they are big for their ages. They are 4 and 5 and the are the size of your average 6 and 7 year olds. Because they are still little boys, they don't have much experience in knowing their own strength and they don't, as of yet anyway, have very good aim.

A couple of months ago, I was sitting in the backyard playing with the dog while the kids where running around, swinging, etc. I heard Lukas say "hey, mom!", and looked up just in time to get knocked in the head with a golf ball. He was throwing it at me so I could catch it, but either he didn't call me in time or I didn't look up in time. I'm still not really sure which. Anyhow, he threw the ball hard enough to give me a mild concussion. Seriously, a concussion from a golf ball. Didn't know it could happen but it did...and it happened to me.

Flash forward to last night. I am sitting in the living room along with everyone else, watching "Hell's Kitchen" (GO ROCK!) and the phone rings (cordless phone, bear in mind). I know it's over there on the loveseat where Grover and Jakob are sitting so I pay it no mind. I'm looking down reading something when BAM! I got hit square across the bridge of the nose with a flying cordless phone. Turns out that Jakob, while trying to throw the phone TO me, threw the phone AT me. (See, one of Jakob's jobs during the day is if the phone rings, he will run and grab it and bring it to me....so I can kinda see where he may have gotten the idea to "toss" the phone to me......kinda) Anyhow, upshot of that is......my nose is broken. Not badly, just a crack really.....but hey, a crack, a break...all the same really....it hurts...a lot.

You know, if I could improve their aim, when they get older, they would both make really, really good football or baseball players. Cause, they really have some power throws!

But, until then, I think I'll start wearing a helmet.

Peace allll............

HBD Lou and Boo

August 12, 2002 3:59 p.m.
August 12, 2003 3:49 p.m.

Will the best boys in the land raise your hand, raise your hand?
You are!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LUKAS AND JAKOB!

Out of all the boys I could have gotten, I got the best ones!

I love you, Stoogie Brothers!!

Peace allllll...........

Counseling And Choking On A Cornflake

You know, you'd think I would know better. You would think I would know that just because a day starts out normally doesn't mean it will necessarily end that way. There's always a little bit of something different going on here at Sprinkleshouse.

For example, the other day I was sitting around talking to my friend Rachel. It had been, aside from the sweltering heat, an ordinary day. Kids were watching SpongeBob, Grover was at work, and Rachel was in her room on the phone with her sister, while I was sitting in there watching TV and eating some delicious Apple Cinnamon Cornflakes. I don't use milk in my cereal, because I don't like milk. So I was eating it dry, right out of the box and it was wonderful.........until I swallowed a cornflake the wrong way. It got stuck in my throat and it felt like one of the little corners of it was just stabbing me right in the tonsil area. I couldn't get it loose. I started to cough, at first delicately,( because Heaven forbid I choke loudly and run the risk of embarrasment) and then that made it even worse, and I started coughing and couldn't stop. It felt like I couldn'tbreathe, (but of course I could because if I couldn't I wouldn't have been able to cough) and I was coughing and heaving and gagging and I ran into the bathroom (I don't know why either) and when I left Rachel's room, then and only then did she realize that there was a problem. She (finally!) came in there and hit me in the back and knocked it loose for me. I thought it would end there but nooooooo.......turns out I had coughed so hard that it made me lose my voice! I walked around croaking for the next 24 hours and my throat was sooooo sore I couldn't swallow anything stronger than soup. I'm doing much better now even though I am still eyeing those cornflakes with deep suspicion, not to mention animosity. Darn, raggedy cornflakes. (Anything I don't like I call raggedy by the way.) Maybe I'll start using milk now. Who'd have thunk it?

Speaking of who'd have thunk its, Grover and I have been going to couples counseling for about a month now (nice segue huh?) He's been working too hard outside the home and I have been working too hard inside the home and we were just under way too much pressure. We weren't headed for divorce court or anything (man, I do love that TV show though) but we just kind of needed to regroup. Neither one of us thought we would like counseling but turns out we LOVE it. We work with a "care couple" through our church(Bonnie and Doug) and they have been just wonderful. Of course, they have been married for 35 years so they've been through a whole lot more than Grover and I have. It's really nice to have an objective ear to listen to you. Not to mention the fact that you get to sit in a nice air conditioned office on a nice, cool leather couch and be away from your kids for an hour a week, for free. Not to mention the fact that it has really helped us to regroup and destress. Like my favorite former prisoner Martha Stewart always says :"It's a good thing!"

Now, if it would just rain, cool off, or rain AND cool off, things would be pretty close to perfect these days. Thank You , Jesus for a good life!

If only I can stay away from the cornflakes. Maybe I should switch to oatmeal.

Peace alllllll.....................

Irritation

Would you like to know what irritates me? You would, wouldn't ya? Lots and lots of things do, but I will only mention a couple, because all of my peeves and irritations would take forever to list.

1. It irritates me when people use K and Z in words when they really don't belong there. You know, like "Krazy Al's Used Cars" and "how you guyz doin'", "Boyz in the Hood" and so on. It also irritates me when people use that backwards "R" like in "Toys R Us". A lot of people disagree with me (I can tell because I've read their writing.) They look at these things and think "Oh, how cute....that's written just like a first grader would write it", never bothering to think that the person that came up with this "cute" idea is making a whole lot of money teaching people that illiteracy is cute.

2. The birds that eat the dog food out of the dog's bowl irritate me. Look, fellas, it isn't winter yet. Get your own box!

3. Kids that don't listen irritate me. Not little kids. We all know that they never listen unless they're not supposed to be. I'm talking teenagers. How many times do you have to be told to do something that is your responsibility before you finally break down and do it (with much attitude I might add). If you had just done it the first time, you could have saved us both a lot of trouble.

4. Drunk/high people that get philosophical irritate me. I don't know why they do, they just do. I would just like to stuff a sock in their mouths until the buzz wears off.

5. When I check my local radar and get a temperature reading of 96, then turn to the Weather Channel and get a temperature of 91, then turn to my local news and get a temperature of 89, that irritates me. Can we all get on the same page once a day?

6. People that stare irritate me. Not people that may be staring at me but people who are staring at nothing. The reason they irritate me is because I will always look to see what they're staring at and when I realize that they're staring at nothing, I feel really stupid.

7. Feeling stupid irritates me.


Okay, I'm reviewing my list, reviewing my list and........yep, I'm a little anal. I suppose that's irritating to a whole lot of people.

Peace allll.............

Peace, Rusty

Yesterday, we had to euthanise our beautiful bloodhound Rusty. He was a heck of a dog and one of the sweetest animals I have ever had the privilege of knowing.

Love ya, Ruster. The boys and I sent up a special prayer for you last night. We miss you, and so do Foxy and the cats.

Peace allllll...........

Conversation and the Lost Ovary

My friend Rachel went to the Emergency Room this morning. She was there for about 8 hours. She was having some "female" issues and of course they put her through the gamut of the usual tests. During one of these tests, the attending doctor made the pronouncement that they "could not find" her right ovary. Well, doc, what happened to it? It was there when she left this morning. So, after a strenous game of internal hide and seek, they found it. I'm not quite sure where they found it, but they found it all the same. (And I'm guessing moved it back to where it was supposed to be in the first place.) ((Did you know that they could do internal ultrasounds?? I didn't...and I wish I still didn't because the description of it was quite vivid.....not to mention disgusting)

The other night (I'm thinking Thursday? or was I thinking Arbys?....anyway) we had ourselves one big ole gullywasher of a storm come through. Stormed so bad it knocked our power out from 6 p.m. until about 1 a.m. So, it's about 90 something degrees or so with a humidity of 100 percent (and for those of you who don't know, humidity in Alabama is not like humidity in the rest of the world. It's worse......much, much worse....think Rain Forest worse.) and we are sitting in the living room, in the dark (because it's just too hot to light a candle) with absolutely nothing to do except stare at each other (or try to stare at each other....it was dark, remember?) and we ended up having to rely on that old standby for boredom.......conversation.

So, we started telling stories....funny stories, scary stories, true stories and tall tales. We did round robin stories (you know, one person starts and you go around in a circle with each person adding on to the story until it becomes so convoluted you have no idea how it's going to end you just wish it would......kind of like this one.) for about three hours. The little ones got so bored they just crawled up on the couch and went to sleep. And, after a while, we picked up their sleeping, sweaty bodies and carted them off to bed. I slept on the couch and was just too hot to do anything but doze. And when the lights finally did come back on and woke me up, the first words out of my mouth were "Thank You, Jesus, for this wonderful air conditioning!"

And, last but not least, my goddaughter is back from her summer vacation with her dad and ready to start 2nd grade in a couple of weeks. Welcome back, Terrianna!!!!

And now that I have bored you all into a comatose state, I have done my job.

Peace alllllll.......................

Falling and Throwing

Man, I have been falling down on the job in my posting. (Wonder where they got that phrase "falling down on the job" from? Hope it wasn't from one of those high rise window washer guys.) I promise to do better.

Anyway, this is what happened today. Last week, we had to take the boys to the dentist for a checkup and Jakob had to get a filling in one of his teeth (bottom, back, left hand side). Well, this morning, he said his tooth was hurting, so we called the dentist. They told us to come in this afternoon and so there we were, in the dentist's waiting area.

Now, I love this group of dentists. They are all so very nice to the boys and the boys just love them. In the waiting area (which is HUGE), they have a window on the far left side so you can look in at the patients having their teeth cleaned if you want. Wonderful idea for anxious parents and anxious kids (i.e. my family). Directly in front of this window is a little play area for kids. It has a couple of plastic tables and chairs, books,a mini-slide, a little basketball goal and a couple of those really soft Nerf-like basketballs. Okay, cool.

So, Lukas and Jakob were playing over in that area when two bigger kids came in (maybe 6 and 7 years old.) They started throwing one of the little basketballs at each other in a little game of inside dodgeball. Not too much running, so no big deal. Well, Lukas decided he wanted to play with them. And seeing as how these other 2 boys were brothers, they did what brothers all over the world do. They decided to play a game of keep away. One of the boys would have the ball and ask Lukas "Hey, kid....do you want it...do you want it?" and when Lukas would make a move for it he would throw it to his brother. Okay, no big deal. Guys all over the place do this. Lukas played along and dealt with it fine for a few minutes. Then he started getting a little irritated with them. I was wondering to myself..."I wonder what Lukas is about to do?" I found out in a second.

The brothers were standing with their backs to the wall. One of them had the ball. Lukas was standing just a couple of feet away by one of the small plastic tables with the 2 plastic chairs. The boy with the ball held it out and said "Hey, kid....do you want it...do you want it?"

At which point Lukas picked up one of the plastic chairs, held it over his head and said "Do you want it? Do you want it?" and proceeded to chunk the chair at the boy. Of course, Grover immediately took him to the car and talked to him about how inappropriate that was, etc.

I didn't say anything when the boys were playing keepaway with Lukas for 2 reasons:
1. Kids do that and sometimes you just have to learn to deal with that kind of thing if no one is getting hurt.
2. I wanted to see how Lukas would handle it. He handled it pretty well at first.....then of course, there was the whole chair thing, which gave me a pretty clear indication of his patience level.

I have had the conversation with him about how to respond appropriately in a situation like that in the future. He listened. Hopefully he retained the information and no more chairs will be thrown in the future.

Did he hit either one of the boys with the chair? Of course not.........they ducked. Smarter than they looked, evidently.

Peace allllll.....................

P.S. Jakob was fine.....turned out the filling was a little too thick and they had to file it down some. So a good day was had by all!

225

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls and children of alllllll ages.....WELCOME to the 225th post at sprinkleshouse!!

That's right......this is the 225th time that I have sat in front of this computer (well, maybe not this computer exactly...but you get my point) whilst venting my rage and frustration, or telling a (sometimes) funny story or opening a window to my past or my present.

As I look back on my previous 224 posts I see someone who is:

often confused
sometimes outraged
occasionally tickled
more often than not aggravated
periodically reflective

I see someone who is:

loud
opinionated
passionate
honest
real
sensitive
insecure
hard headed

and not too terribly often at a loss for words.

In other words, I see a work in progress. But at least it's progressing.

For those who have been with me from almost the beginning.....thanks for taking the time to read this often incoherent explosion of words.

And for those of you who have just recently joined me......stick around.....every once in a while I actually make sense.:)

Here's to the next 225!

I love alllll you guys....on the real. You're better than any therapist:)

Peace allllllllll..........................

13

Happy Friday the 13th to you allllll!!!

I don't have any superstitions or anything related to this particular day, but there will be a lotta good slasher flicks on tonight! (You know, it doesn't take a whole lot to make me happy)

Be careful out there.....don't step on any cracks or walk under any ladders or whatever it is you're not supposed to do today.

Peace allllll..............

I Want Brains!

Where, oh where, has my grey matter gone? Oh where, oh where ,can it be?

You know, back in the day, I used to be pretty smart. 4.0 GPA, spoke two foreign languages (French and German) and could remember what I had for breakfast on February 3, 1981. I wasn't a genius, but I could hold my own. I used to read alllll the time, and used to love the classics. I could curl up with a bag of apples and just devour "Silas Marner", "Wuthering Heights", "War and Peace" and anything else with great enjoyment.

It's not that way anymore.

Ever since my kids were born, I have honestly felt like I have been slipping a little at a time. I find it harder to concentrate when I am in the middle of a conversation. I have on more than one occasion zoned out when someone was talking to me, only to look at them and say "huh?" after they had been talking for at least 5 minutes. (People do not appreciate this.)

I find myself making lists alllll the time so that I will remember everything that I have to do in a day. Without a list, the kids might get fed, but I can pretty much guarantee that the dogs and the cats won't.

I often find myself in the middle of a sentence and really wanting to use the right word and for the life of me I can't think of what it is.......until 10 minutes later. Then I shout "That was it!" and by that time the conversation has been over and I become the recipient of some very odd looks.

I feel like my brain is in slumber mode a lot. I used to be interested in things. I used to be interesting. I used to be able to talk all day and all night about a thousand different things with passion and zeal. I used to be a big fan of "spirited debate". And now, in the middle of a "spirited debate", I will often do one of two things. I will either stop and say "what are we talking about?" or "okay, this is becoming boring....i'm ready to shut up now."

I have become dull and boring.....I used to greet each new day with a burst of enthusiasm. And now I wake up and ask myself "Is it time for bed yet?"

Ah, if only I could get my brain to wake up! Or if I could just replace some of the cells that I have lost over the years.

Do they sell grey matter at Wal-Mart? Maybe on a buy one, get one free type of deal? Wonder what the roll back price on that is?

Peace alllllll............................

B's and H's and the Rest of It

***DISCLAIMER: There will be profanity in the following post, not because I enjoy it, but because I feel its use is necessary to make a point. Thank you......******

I have just about had it with this nonsense. The nonsense to which I am in reference is this whole "bitch, ho" debacle. Because this isn't about some random curse words, this is about empowerment or lack thereof.

Men should not call women bitches and hos (is that the correct spelling or should it be hoes?......no that's a garden tool.....anyway). This is true. Women should not call other women bitches and/or hos. This is a problem that should have been addressed and solved by WOMEN a long time ago.

I'm sorry, I for one do not need Al Sharpton or Russell Simmons or Harvey Levin or even my own husband telling me this. This is something that my MOTHER (a WOMAN, mind you) taught me a long time ago. I was taught as a very young girl that there are certain things that you simply do not allow anyone, be they man, woman or child, to call you. You know, things such as "stupid", "fat", "ugly", "bitch" and "whore". I'm pretty sure, not positive, but pretty sure, that every little girl (and a lot of little boys) were told this at some point in their life. At what point did we forget this?

Was it when we were trying to look cool in front of friends when we were teenagers and dog out on some girl who had the "reputation"? (Bear in mind, reputation is not always fact and oftentimes is a complete fabrication.) Was it when we were trying to emulate some rebellious rock star or movie actor, not realizing what they were doing was putting on a show for our entertainment, not for our imitation? Was it when the first man called us a bitch or a ho because they were angry or jealous, not to mention incapable of producing a word which more accurately reflected how they were feeling at the time? When was it? When did we forget to act like civilized creatures with a higher logic and a higher purpose than the animals around us?

And when did we, as women, start letting men tell us, after so many years of this, that we were allowed to say something about it now? I've been saying something about it for years and have pretty much either been ignored or told "well, boys will be boys." Okay, so when do boys become men? Oh, I suppose when THEY make the decision to be morally correct and righteous. It's a little too late for that fellas.

Women have been fighting this battle for years and now, just because some MAN decides that we (women) need to organize a march to protest how we have been treated for YEARS, we're supposed to jump up and say "Yessah, massah"? I don't think so. Ihave BEEN protesting this treatment over half of my life, and I am not the only woman who has done so. Where were you THEN? Yes, you Mr. Simmons, with your Def Comedy Jam with it's misogynistic overtones. Was it when you had two daughters of your own? So, what, now you're trying to take back decades of the garbage that you and your ilk (men that is) helped to spead like the cancer that it is?

This is for women to take care of. This is for women to teach their sons and daughters to be better than. ( Men, I'm sorry for the few good ones that are out there. You have a hard time letting your light shine through this. Keep trying though. Maybe, after enough generations have passed, this will be but a distant, if ugly, memory in our collective subconscious.) This is not for men to take us by our hands and tell us "It's okay, you can do it." This is for us to tell ourselves "we can do it together." Because until we can demand respect from ourselves, there is no way that we can command respect from anyone else.

Now, Al......chew on that.

Peace allllllllll.......................

School Daze

At church this morning, our pastor informed us that our church is launching a home school program. They are having a meeting on it tomorrow night for interested parties to get more information about it. I have thougth about homeschooling the kids for some time now, but I (and Grover) have been unable to make a decision thus far.

There are several pro points on homeschooling, such as the ability to let the kids go at their own pace, be it fast or slow, the freedom for religous instruction, and not worrying about bullies and fights and bad teachers.

However, by the same token, there is not really enough socialization in home schools. I know that they have groups and meetings and dances and sports events for the kids, but it's just not the same.

If I homeschool, there won't be any class parties, or homecoming dances or proms or being in the band or clubs or any of the great things that make public schools great.

Lukas is due to start kindergarten in August. Kindergarten is not mandatory in Alabama, though, so I do have a minute to decide, if I need more time. But something is telling me to get all the research I can, pray about it and decide. I don't want to waste time if I don't have to but I do want to make the right decision for my kids.

Ah,more questions than I know what to do with these days!

Have an abfab day peoples!!

Peace allllll................

Oh, My Joshie, Oh Don't You Cry For Me

Some of you may know who Josh is. A lot of you don't. Let me give a little background.

Josh is 13 years old, about to be 14 in September. For the past 13 years, I and his grandmother have been raising him. This is because when he was born, his biological mother, Tars, who was 16 at the time, wanted nothing to do with him. She "didn't have time for that". Granted, she was young.......and also heartless and cold-blooded...but another story for another day.

Anyhow, Rachel (his grandmother) and I decided to raise him as more or less our own. He knew who his biological mother was and some of the story behind his coming to be with us. So for 13 years, we have taken care of him, fed him, loved him, bought his school clothes and Christmas and birthday gifts. We are the ones who have gone to parent-teacher conferences and worked with him on his homework. We are the ones who have taken him to the doctor and sat up with him when he was sick and when he broke his ankle and was laid up for a month, we were the ones who were at his beck and call 24 hours a day. No big deal. We were, for all intents and purposes, his parents and that is what parents do for the children they love.

As I have said, he has always known his biological mother, Rachel's daughter. We have never attempted to keep him from her and we have never attempted to keep her from him, even though for the first 9 years of his life, he barely saw her or heard from her.

Over the past, oh, year or so, he has spent more time with her. Actually, the purpose was for him to see his brother and sisters who live with her. But nonetheless.....I digress.

When school let out for the summer he wanted to go spend the weekend over there, a couple of nights. No big deal......it was summertime after all. Well, that weekend has turned into a month and a half. And he tells us the other day, actually the day before yesterday, that he now wants to live with his biological mother. That was a hard hammer to have fall on you.

Now, the reason I have a problem with this is: Tara is 29. She had her first child when she was 13......that first child she took care of for about 6 months and then she sent the child to live with her father. Fast forward about 13 years and the father decides he doesn't want the girl anymore and so he drops her off at Tara's house and basically says "have a nice day". That's child number one.

Child number 2 is Joshua.......she didn't want him when she had him and spent the next several years having very little to do with him until recently.

Child number 3 is Briana.....we were raising her as well. She passed away when she was 2 and a half.

Children numbers 4 and 5 are Corey and Gabby.....she was married to their father when she had them so she kinda had to keep them. They are the only 2 out of 6 children that have always lived with her. She considers them "her" children.

Child number 6 is Colin.....she didn't like his father so when she had this one, she gave him to her cousin and his wife to raise.

After Colin, she finally had her tubes tied. Thank you God, for all miracles small and large.

So, now Josh wants to live with her. Why? I'm not really sure. I know that he and Grover have a rough go from time to time. I know that she doesn't have as many rules in her house...and I know that he can kind of run wild at her place.

But is all of that worth walking away from me and his mom? Who walks away from a mother who has been so good to them their whole lives to live with a woman who could really care less about him?

I'm trying not to be angry with him. I'm trying not to have my feelings hurt by all of this. And I am failing miserably at both. Not really sure what to do at this point. Do I wait it out and hope he comes back.....or do I cut it loose and let him go completely?

I do not have the answers, just the questions.

Peace alllllll........................

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY !!!!

Y'all have a safe and fabulous day.

And a special thank you to our Armed Forces!

Peace alllllll........................

Not The Best Mother

I may not be the best mother in the world.



Yesterday, my children ate kool-pops for breakfast. It was a nice switch from the standard eggs and cereal.



Today, my children went out to the pool and tracked mud in and out oh, I don't know, three or four times. I simply mopped and mopped again and didn't even fuss about it.



I let them jump on their beds last week.



Sometimes I let them stay up late.



I don't always have the right answer so every once in a while I just make one up.



I am often too willing to abandon housecleaning for roughhousing in the back yard, or the front yard, or just wherever.



Not too long ago, they drew all over their bedroom walls. I fussed at them of course, but I was secretly pleased at their 'artistic expression'. It's gonna be a big pain to have to paint over it but, oh well.



I have been known to tell them "just wear what you have on" if I'm in a hurry and it's a quick trip.



I don't do a lot of things that a lot of so-called "good moms" do. But I do this much:



I take them to church.

I read to them.

I talk to them.

I listen to them.

I bandage and kiss every owee and boo-boo, real or imaginary.

I hug them.

I pray with them.

I pray for them.

I love them.



So, I'm not June Cleaver. I can't walk very well in high heels and haven't owned a pair of pantyhose in years. The last nice necklace I had I broke. I'm loud and clumsy and will probably never look very put-together no matter how hard I try. I can't bake bread without burning it and the dogs won't even eat my homemade biscuits. The microwave is my best friend somedays. I don't sew or knit or do anything that could be considered dainty.

But I do walk barefoot in the yard and talk to my kids about God and life and love and how to treat people. And for now, they listen. And at the end, of the day, when I am sitting on the back porch eating yet another kool-pop, that's really all you can ask for.

I know I'm not the best mother in the world. And one day, my kids may even tell me that I'm not. But today......

they think I am.:)

Peace allllllll....................

There are a few things in this life that I just don't understand. Actually, there are several. Truth be told about it, there are so many that a lot of the time it keeps me in a state of mild confusion.

Thing number one: They used to have cigarette commercials on TV. Now, I don't remember ever seeing any when I was young because they have been banned from commercials for a verrrrrrry long time. Question is: why do they still have commercials for beer, wine, whiskey and a host of other alcoholic beverages on TV? Not understanding this at all. I have never personally heard of anyone hitting someone with their car while they were under the influence of nicotine. I have also never seen someone try to beat the mess out of someone three times their size because they had been smoking. And there has never, in my recollection, been heard by any spouse or significant other "Honey, I'm sorry. It was a one night stand. We had been smoking cigarettes all night and I don't really remember the rest of it." Just curious......maybe the tobacco companies weren't willing to pay the government as much money as the alcohol companies. Hmmmmm..........

Thing number two: What happened to excessive skin exposure on TV being a late night thing? I can be watching cartoons and all of a sudden a deodorant commercial with the half-dressed woman dancing in the leather pants at the club comes on. My kids have the rest of their lives to see half-dressed women once they get grown. I don't think they need to see it on the commercial break of "Sponge Bob".

Number three: What is really going on with "sport tampons"? What in the world is a "sport tampon"? Women have been playing sports with the same old non-athletic tampons for years. Next thing you know, they'll be selling "extreme tampons" or maybe even "extreme sports gel tampons". Are they trying to get men to buy them? We all know that pretty much only men can be swayed by a product with the words "sport", "extreme", or "magnum" on it.

Four: What has happened to Cartoon Network?? Used to be the place for me all night long, with "Tom and Jerry" and "Cow and Chicken" and even "Johnny Bravo". Now, all they have on after 7 p.m. is Adult Swim. And my cable company is telling me that I can add Cartoon Network "Original" on to my cable lineup for only "a few dollars a month." Ummm.......no. Why can't adults pay the extra for Adult Swim and keep the cartoons on for the kids? Just another example of grown-ups ruining everything fun.

And last but not least.....why do doctors make you wait 2 weeks for the results of any test when they know they can have the results back in about 24 hours? And why, oh why, do they tell you that your appointment is at a certain time and please don't be late when they know, they KNOW, that the doctor is actually overbooked and you are going to be sitting in that waiting room for at least 2 hours reading those same crappy out of date Ladies Home Journal and Fish and Stream magazines from 1994??

Sorry about the kvetching.......but sometimes ya gotta let it out on screen so you don't let it out on your husband:)

Peace allllllll...................

Saturdays and Random Stuff

So, I thought I would check out this new template and see if it worked for me. I dunno......looks a little too shushi fushi....but we'll see.

Anyhooooo......I hate Saturdays. Hate may be too strong of a word though. Loathe, detest, dislike immensely maybe. Saturdays are boring, there's never anything on TV, and all the yard wark is just staring you in the face like "Are you gonna get to me TODAY maybe?" And with Grover working six days a week, it's just like Friday except without the paycheck and any good movies. I find it hard to believe that I spent all those years as a kid looking forward to this day of the week and now I just wish it would hurry up and go by. Grover says it's because Saturday is a play day for people and I've forgotten how to play. I haven't forgotten......I just don't have time! By the time I finish cooking and cleaning and cutting the grass and cleaning some more and bandaging cuts and scrapes and bee stings and washing the dog and washing the car and all the mundane junk associated with my life these days, I really do not have time, much less energy, to play. And that's kinda sad.

Moving on......

Lukas, who is 4 and a half, is now working on simple addition. He can read and write his ABC's and he loves math but he has no interest at the present time in learning how to read words. I'm trying and he's resisting. But I'm pretty confident he'll start within the week. That's how he is. He has to do it in his own time and his own way. Fortunately, his own time is pretty quick.

However, Jakob, who is 3 and a half, is now reading. Everything. Anything. He just started out of the blue last Monday when I was working with Lukas. I was going over words with Lukas when Jakob came up and just started reading the list. After a moment, as it is with reading, Lukas got bored and went on to more interesting things. So I tried to see just how far Jakob could go with this reading thing. He did pretty well, if I may say so. The biggest word he got was "submarine." It was incredibly exciting for me (of course, I am his mom.....that may make all the difference.)

Joshua, who is almost 14 now (4 more years buddy and you're outta here!;)) is in a dance group. They have been involved in a local competition and have made it all the way to the semi-finals. The finals are next week. That, plus band, and his new found fascination with weight lifting has been enough to keep him out of trouble this summer, so far anyway.

My goddaughter, Terriana, is leaving for Florida today. She's spending the rest of the summer with her dad. So, by the time she gets back (and we deprogram her from 2 months of being spoiled rotten:)) she'll be ready for the 1st grade.

And the dogs are outside, rolling around in the grass play fighting and the cats are in the house rolling around on the carpet play fighting. And Lukas and Jakob are just fighting......don't think there's any play in this one. Aaaaaahhh, brothers......gotta love 'em cause you can't shoot 'em :)

Well, that's my Saturday. How about yours?

Peace alllllllllllllllllllll..............................

Numbering My Days

There is a verse in the Bible, where it is escapes me just now. It says something to the effect of "Lord, teach me to number my days." Now, I could go off on a whole tangent about this but.....well, you know what? I think I will.

The whole upshot of this verse is to never take a day for granted. It could be your last. And this is really heavy on my mind today because yesterday was a very strange day. It seemed like everyone, and by everyone I mean EVERYONE, even the cats, was tripping about one thing of the other. Everyone wanted to walk around with a chip on their shoulder, some pebble sized and some big ole boulder sized. (We won't discuss what size mine was, suffice it to say I was walking with a serious lean.) And late last night when I was lying in bed, it came to me: this could have been a wonderful day and we just about ruined it because none of us wanted to keep it that way. We all wanted to act ignorant and demand what we wanted when we wanted it and act as if the whole world should have paid attention. It was sort of a messed up day and we're the ones that messed it up.

And it may have been our last.

Oh, no, nothing dangerous or bad or unfortunate happened. But what if it had? What if we hadn't made it through to see today? The best thing that anyone could have said about our last day was....."Well, they seemed to be in a bad mood all day....man, that sucks." The last memory my children would have had of me is that I was not my normal outgoing, effervescent, ebullient self.....that I was a grouch.

Everyone is entitled to a moment every once in a while. A moment. Not a day, a week, or a lifetime. How much time, how many days have you wasted being in a bad mood, being upset, being ticked off or frustrated?

I'm not saying you should walk around singing "Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy" all day every day. We are, after all, only human. But take into account how much energy you are putting into negativity, and how much time you are wasting.

I do not want to look back at the end of my life and say "Man, i could have done so much more if I would have only gotten my head out of my butt and the chip off my shoulder and just done it." I want to live every day as if it were my last, and accomplish as much as I can in a 24 hour period. Carpe Diem and all that. I want everyone I love to know that I love them every day, even if I am having a moment. And I want those moments to be shorter and fewer and farther between. Because, all in all, it's a good life and, when it isn't, half the time the fault can be traced back to me.

Live like you were dying and I think you'll live a lot better.

Amen.

Peace allllllll.................................

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY GROVER!!!!

And because it's your day, you get the big piece of chicken tonight. (Yes, I'm talking about dinner people, nothing else!)

And Happy Father's Day to the rest of you wonderful gentlemen out there. Enjoy it while you can. Tomorrow's Monday, remember:)

Peace allllllll...............................

Lessons Learned

For the past couple of days, I have had the distinct, if dubious, honor of babysitting mine and Grover's goddaughters. Their mom had to go to Atlanta for a couple of days to take care of some business, didn't want to drag them down there for 3 days and so here we are. They are both girls, aged 6 and 2. Add to that my two boys and we have four children, 6,4,3 and 2. Whoo hoo!! What fun. And what a learning oppurtunity this has been for me. For example:

I learned exactly how many stuffed animals it takes to fill up 2 blue plastic wading pools that are already full of water. Answer? 24

I learned that yes, if properly lying face down and head down, 3 people CAN go down a slide at the same time.

I learned that the 6 year old wants to grow up and marry the 3 year old and the 2 year old wants to grow up and marry the 4 year old.

I learned that alllllll children under the age of 4 will take their clothes off once they go outside.

Foxy the dog learned what it is like to be ridden by a 2 year old.

I learned that my children are abnormally tall for their ages (3&4) as they had to bend down to hug the girls (2&6 respectively).

The cats learned how to swim.

The boys learned that if two people are on the monkey bars and they meet in the middle, that the boy is obligated to jump down so the girl can finish. They also learned that if they do NOT do this, they may get whopped one.

I am used to carrying my boys to bed if they fall asleep on the couch. They weigh 60 and 45 pounds. What I am NOT used to is carrying someone who doesn't weigh that much. The two year old fell asleep and I bent down to pick her up and thought she would be heavier than she was. Upshot of that was I almost tossed her over my shoulder like a bag of potato chips. Good thing she's flexible;)

I learned that when you say something to a two year old and they say "Huh?" and you repeat yourself 5 times and each time they say "Huh?" to stop after the second time. Why? Because if someone else asks them what you just said they can repeat it word for word. They were just messing with your head. Why? Because they can.

If you see a 4 year old and a 6 year old standing in the corner of the yard talking to each other break them up....they are up to no good.

Ditto on the 3 year old and the 2 year old.

But the most important thing I learned is this: when it is summertime and the sun is beginning to set and there is a cool breeze blowing......and you can smell the honeysuckle in the air.....and you watch children running and laughing and occasionally stopping just to turn their face up to the sky and smile in the purest form of praise there is....

And when you see them all sitting on your bed watching "SpongeBob" and they are laughing with the exuberance that only innocence can provide.......

And when you see them sleeping peacefully, even if they are hanging half-way off of the bed....

Don't interrupt. Just enjoy.

Teach your children well. But learn as well as you teach.

Peace alllllll.......................

Corneas and Commotion

Okay, so remember I had mentioned in a previous post that I had had a scratched cornea? Well, that diagnosis came at the very end of the best time I have ever had in a hospital. Let me tell ya the story:

The day that I got this injury, Grover was at work so he couldn't take me to the emergency room. Well, that was okay, because Rachel was home and she said that she would do it. So we dropped the kids off over at Tara's house (Rachel's daughter) and proceeded to go to the hospital. Now, bear in mind that I only have one contact in, I can't really see very sharply, the bad eye is red and just running water when I open it so I'm keeping it closed. This sort of gives me the pirate look without the eye patch. So, we're going down the road and everytime we stop at a red light, I look over at the car next to us and go "Aaarrrgh!" Fortunately, road rage is not really common around here or else I may have ended up in the hospital with something much worse, like some broken bones.

So, we get to the ER and I sign in and get triaged and everything and in a relatively short amount of time, I am taken back to Direct Care. Now, for those of you who don't know, Direct Care is a separate section of the ER, pretty much reserved for bumps and bruises and colds and corneas......nothing too severe ever shows up in Direct Care. They send people who are realllly in trouble to Trauma. So I'm glad that this is where I am going because it's a looooooot faster this way. This is where the trouble starts.

I'm lying back on the gurney (it's in one of those open bay areas) and I have the head part of it up. Rachel is sitting by me with her feet on the bottom of the gurney. You know that lever that says "PUSH" to release the top of the bed? Well, see, it doesn't matter whether you push it with your hands or your feet, as I found out really quickly when the head of the bed dropped completely down unannounced, almost flipping me upside down onto the floor. Turns out Rachel had accidentally kicked it. Accidentally? Yeah, right.

While I was waiting to see the doctor, the area started filling with patients. Some of them looked like they didn't feel well or were in pain. But some of them looked okay. (You know, sometimes pill heads will come in the ER with "symptoms" so they can get a pain prescription). So Rachel and I came up with an idea, which we didn't get to use. She said "You know, why don't we, whenever we see a patient come in here, sneak up behind them and yell "RUN!!!!" and if they run we'll know they don't really need to be here." I know you probably had to be there but this idea struck me as hilariously funny. I started laughing and couldn't stop. Now you have to have the visual here........I am sitting there looking like a pirate and braying like a donkey and Rachel.....well, when she laughs she sounds a lot like a hyena....seriously. And every time a new patient would come in or leave, we would look at each other and whisper loudly "RUN!!" and start laughing all over again.

It got to the point where one of the nurses had to come over and tell us get quiet or we would have to leave. We tried, I promise you we tried. Alas, we were not completely successful but it was enough to keep them from calling security.

I would like to take this moment to apologize to anyone we may have annoyed, irritated, frustrated or otherwise discombobulated that day in the ER. I understand that there are sick people here, yes nurse, I am sorry.

And if, the next time I go to the hospital, someone looks at me and yells "RUN!!!!", I'll know where they got it from;)

Peace allllllll.....................

One Tid And A Couple Of Bits

Well, since there really isn't a whole lot of interesting stuff on the news lately and no one has really gotten on my nerves in a couple of days, I thought that I would just throw out some relatively unknown facts about myself and my family. Some are a little weird and some are a little scary. Or that could just be me:

1. I hate flourescent colors. Have hated them since they hit their heyday in the 80's. They make my eyes hurt and they are just ugly.....really ugly.

2. I rock back and forth when I talk. Sometimes just a little bit...sometimes a lot. I once got so agitated during a conversation I actually rocked myself right on off of the couch.

3. My best friend, Rachel, sees dead people. For real, like in "The Sixth Sense"....she has since she was 4 years old and she is now 45....some she knows, some she doesn't. She doesn't sleep a lot.

4. I never clean the house before 1 p.m. and I actually prefer to clean it just one more time before I go to bed when everyone else is asleep. That way it doesn't get trashed and I wake up to a clean house, which makes my day much better.

5. I am ambidextrous....which translates to freak of nature;)

6. Every morning when I wake up, I say "This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it." And somedays I have to remind myself of that:)

7. Whenver I catch a cold, I sleep on the couch. Don't know why..I think it is a comfort thing for me.

8. When I was little, we owned a black hen named Fay and about 30 rabbits. Have no idea why, but it was fun and fostered my love of animals.

9. I always mute the TV when commercials are on.

10. Rachel has a lot of illnesses. The last two times she was in the hospital she had to stay about a week each time. The bill was around $200,00.00 Yep, you read that right. And when the business office called her she told them she would be in on the first of the month to pay it off. The woman then proceeds to tell her "Okay, I'll put you down for the first." I'm sure Rachel will just make that payment tomorrow. She's a few days late.

11. Grover has selective hearing. He can't hear me say a thing unless the words "money" or "chocolate" come up. Then he'll wake up from a dead sleep;)

12. Lukas is afraid of cars coming into his room at night while he's asleep. (Because the headlights of cars going down our street shine through his window)

13. I'm afraid of Lukas coming into my room at night while I'm asleep. That means I'm going to get kicked at least 5 times before I give up and go out to the couch.

Okay, are you thoroughly bored yet? Yeah, I know...so am I. But never fear, someone's bound to interest me (or at least tick me off) in the next day or so;)

Peace allllllllll...................

Snob

Let's see.......what is the best way for me to put this? Okay, I think I've got it. Here we go:

I cannot tolerate a snob. An intellectual snob that is.

Everyone on this earth was born with a certain amount of intelligence, some more and some less than others. But most of us, by the time we are grown anyway, have figured out how to put our pants on and wave good-bye. Most of us also recognize the importance of a good joke, not to mention a good cheeseburger. I like to consider that our common thread of humanity.

I am not talking about everyone.....just a select few. You know, those people who are constantly trying to impress others with overt displays of their "intellectual superiority." The kind of people you see in public and you know, you just know, that when they go home, they put on their smoking jackets and puff on their pipes and sip their Earl Grey tea and look down their noses at the "common man."

Don't get me wrong. I'm a fan, a big fan, of book learnin'. Have a little of it myself. I , too, know how to read and cipher and such. (Did I spell cipher right?;)) I even know Pig Latin. But I do not believe that it is ever, EVER, in good taste to beat someone over the head with all them there books you done learned from. Do I beleive that these "intellectual giants" (and I DO use the term loosely) should never converse with us normal folk? Well, of course not. But, dude, just sit down and talk. Have a normal, fun conversation. Eat a cookie. Tell a knock-knock joke even. Because I have to tell ya, your pedantic displays are not impressing anyone, except maybe you. And your flatulent condescension is gettin' a little too funky for me. You can find information in books but not wisdom. That, my friend, is found out there in the real world. You do remember where that is don't you?

Now, to other end of the spectrum.......Paris Hilton just got out of jail after 3 days. 3 days......just goes to show that money really does talk sometimes.....and very loudly at that. Think she learned anything, other than how to use a payphone? We'll see. Think her 3 days with the "common man" had any impact on her? Oh, yeah, that's right. She was sequestered for her stay in the big house. Separated from everyone else based on who she is. Hmmmmmm.......that sounds like a whole different kind of snobbery, now don't it?

Peace alllllllllllllll................

Fussy and Almost 40

You know, like most people out there (closet masochists excluded), I hate to be told "no". I don't like it but most of the time I can get over it. It is what it is. HOWEVER, there is one thing that I hate worse than being told no and that is a qualified no. A qualified no for those of you who may not know this is a no with an exlanation attached. I don't need an explanation of why you're telling me no. I have already gone over these possibilities in my head before I even asked you the question. Is your explaining to me why you are telling me no going to change your no to a yes? Of course not. So why are you wasting your time and mine. Just tell me no so that I can consider you a jerk and go on with my day versus explaining it so that I consider you an illogical jerk.

There, that feels better. Must be this countdown to 40 that I'm on that has me all irascible and stuff;). Grover just turned 40 last month......and hasn't felt well one day since then:) I tried to tell him it's all in his head, that he just needs to stop brooding over it since he's in the last half of his life now and doesn't really have that much time to waste. (he didn't think that was funny either...I did;)) Turning 40 for me is like getting a shot. You're all tensed up waiting for it to happen and then when it does you go....."hmmmm, that wasn't so bad after all." Of course, there are the grey hairs and creaking joints and lack of nimbleness to look forward to but I've had all that going on since I was 30 so what's the big deal? And I'm already sounding like my mother more and more everyday: "Oh, these kids these days. It wasn't like this when I was growing up (yeah it was, I just don't want to admit it)."

But there is part of almost being 40 that is the most time consuming and sometimes painful part: the whole reflection over your life thing.Going down the list of mistakes and regrets and shoulda coulda wouldas. If I could change anything that has happened in my life would I? I might change a couple of things but nothing too big. Yeah, I've made a lot of mistakes (a LOT) in my life but they have all been a part of getting me to where I am now. And where I am now ain't too shabby. I'm not Bill Gates or Stephen Hawkings or Halle Berry but who cares? I am what I am and that's good enough for me. (But not good enough for my kids in 10 years probably;))

We'll see how I'm doing when I'm almost 50.

Peace allllllllll...............

Seven Days

So, since it will probably take me a little while to catch up on the past few months or so, let me spend a few moments just catching up on the past week. In the last seven days I have had:

a corneal abrasion, otherwise known as a scratch on the eyeball. Since I wear contacts ALL the time and have for the past 2 years, I have never been bothered to purchase a pair of back-up glasses (yeah, I know...stupid is as stupid does NOT do). Consequently, for about 2 days I had to go around with one contact in and one out. 20/20 vision in one eye and 20/200 in the other. Do you know what that does to person's depth perception? Nothing nice.

a burn on my hand. What happened you may ask. Simple...I was taking biscuits out of the oven and because I couldn't really see them very well, I put my bare hand not on the potholder but on the pan itself.

a really ugly cold, which I then proceeded to give to everyone in the house.

I cooked a wonderful dinner the other night which included baked fish. When I put my childrens' plates on the table and told them it was time for dinner, Lukas comes to the table, looks at the fish, looks at me and says "Oooh, Mom.....that looks asgusting." Not disgusting, but asgusting. This ain't "Hell's Kitchen" young man.

I went into my kitchen the other day and Lukas had gotten a pack of hot chocolate out of the cabinet, put it in a blue tumbler, put cold water in it and was trying to put it in the microwave to heat it up. When I walked in on him in the middle of this and asked him what he was doing, he replied "Making coffee mom, what're you doin'?" He wasn't trying to be a smart aleck...just a grownup. Oh, if he only knew.

Jakob was in the backyard swinging the other day and had to go pee. I suppose in his mind it was just a little too far to actually come in the house and use the bathroom so he just whipped his pants down and took care of business in the back yard. What I wouldn't give to be 3 again:) (Or just a guy somedays;))

Jakob has also developed an affinity for anything that buttons or zips. Okay, that would be okay if he hadn't gone into the winter clothes and found a fleece jacket of his that does both. Now he won't take the thing off except to bathe. And the second he gets out of the tub he puts it right back on. Which I wouldn't even be concerned except he wears it outside to play and it's like 90 degrees during the day now. I've tried to hide it but he keeps finding it. And let me tell ya, when he puts that on and the sunglasses he's become so attached to, he looks just like a mini jazz musician out in the backyard. Let's just hope that he doesn't finish off the outfit with his dad's hardhat again. Now that really will have the neighbors calling the funny farm. I believe in self-expression but come on now.

Josh got a concussion on the slip and slide the other day. He slipped instead of sliding and landed on his head. Fortunately he's got a hard head and a looooot of hair.

Has anyone been watching the Flavor of Love Girls: Charm School? That Larissa is one eeeevil little girl. Yeah, I know it's brain rot but after a full week of watching Sesame Street, Backyardigans and WonderPets, I have to have something to zone out on.

I know that this post is all over the place but give me a couple of days to get my mind refreshed and remolded back into the steel trap it once was, albeit a bit rusty;) I feel like I've been in hibernate mode for a while.

And now I'm going to cook my pot roast since today I can see it and won't be coughing over it .

Peace aalllllllllllllll.................

Dennis Quaid Said It Best

Hello boys!!!!! I'm baaaaaack!

(Oh yeah, that goes for the girls too).......

Peace allllllll...............