Corneas and Commotion

Okay, so remember I had mentioned in a previous post that I had had a scratched cornea? Well, that diagnosis came at the very end of the best time I have ever had in a hospital. Let me tell ya the story:

The day that I got this injury, Grover was at work so he couldn't take me to the emergency room. Well, that was okay, because Rachel was home and she said that she would do it. So we dropped the kids off over at Tara's house (Rachel's daughter) and proceeded to go to the hospital. Now, bear in mind that I only have one contact in, I can't really see very sharply, the bad eye is red and just running water when I open it so I'm keeping it closed. This sort of gives me the pirate look without the eye patch. So, we're going down the road and everytime we stop at a red light, I look over at the car next to us and go "Aaarrrgh!" Fortunately, road rage is not really common around here or else I may have ended up in the hospital with something much worse, like some broken bones.

So, we get to the ER and I sign in and get triaged and everything and in a relatively short amount of time, I am taken back to Direct Care. Now, for those of you who don't know, Direct Care is a separate section of the ER, pretty much reserved for bumps and bruises and colds and corneas......nothing too severe ever shows up in Direct Care. They send people who are realllly in trouble to Trauma. So I'm glad that this is where I am going because it's a looooooot faster this way. This is where the trouble starts.

I'm lying back on the gurney (it's in one of those open bay areas) and I have the head part of it up. Rachel is sitting by me with her feet on the bottom of the gurney. You know that lever that says "PUSH" to release the top of the bed? Well, see, it doesn't matter whether you push it with your hands or your feet, as I found out really quickly when the head of the bed dropped completely down unannounced, almost flipping me upside down onto the floor. Turns out Rachel had accidentally kicked it. Accidentally? Yeah, right.

While I was waiting to see the doctor, the area started filling with patients. Some of them looked like they didn't feel well or were in pain. But some of them looked okay. (You know, sometimes pill heads will come in the ER with "symptoms" so they can get a pain prescription). So Rachel and I came up with an idea, which we didn't get to use. She said "You know, why don't we, whenever we see a patient come in here, sneak up behind them and yell "RUN!!!!" and if they run we'll know they don't really need to be here." I know you probably had to be there but this idea struck me as hilariously funny. I started laughing and couldn't stop. Now you have to have the visual here........I am sitting there looking like a pirate and braying like a donkey and Rachel.....well, when she laughs she sounds a lot like a hyena....seriously. And every time a new patient would come in or leave, we would look at each other and whisper loudly "RUN!!" and start laughing all over again.

It got to the point where one of the nurses had to come over and tell us get quiet or we would have to leave. We tried, I promise you we tried. Alas, we were not completely successful but it was enough to keep them from calling security.

I would like to take this moment to apologize to anyone we may have annoyed, irritated, frustrated or otherwise discombobulated that day in the ER. I understand that there are sick people here, yes nurse, I am sorry.

And if, the next time I go to the hospital, someone looks at me and yells "RUN!!!!", I'll know where they got it from;)

Peace allllllll.....................