Fussy and Almost 40

You know, like most people out there (closet masochists excluded), I hate to be told "no". I don't like it but most of the time I can get over it. It is what it is. HOWEVER, there is one thing that I hate worse than being told no and that is a qualified no. A qualified no for those of you who may not know this is a no with an exlanation attached. I don't need an explanation of why you're telling me no. I have already gone over these possibilities in my head before I even asked you the question. Is your explaining to me why you are telling me no going to change your no to a yes? Of course not. So why are you wasting your time and mine. Just tell me no so that I can consider you a jerk and go on with my day versus explaining it so that I consider you an illogical jerk.

There, that feels better. Must be this countdown to 40 that I'm on that has me all irascible and stuff;). Grover just turned 40 last month......and hasn't felt well one day since then:) I tried to tell him it's all in his head, that he just needs to stop brooding over it since he's in the last half of his life now and doesn't really have that much time to waste. (he didn't think that was funny either...I did;)) Turning 40 for me is like getting a shot. You're all tensed up waiting for it to happen and then when it does you go....."hmmmm, that wasn't so bad after all." Of course, there are the grey hairs and creaking joints and lack of nimbleness to look forward to but I've had all that going on since I was 30 so what's the big deal? And I'm already sounding like my mother more and more everyday: "Oh, these kids these days. It wasn't like this when I was growing up (yeah it was, I just don't want to admit it)."

But there is part of almost being 40 that is the most time consuming and sometimes painful part: the whole reflection over your life thing.Going down the list of mistakes and regrets and shoulda coulda wouldas. If I could change anything that has happened in my life would I? I might change a couple of things but nothing too big. Yeah, I've made a lot of mistakes (a LOT) in my life but they have all been a part of getting me to where I am now. And where I am now ain't too shabby. I'm not Bill Gates or Stephen Hawkings or Halle Berry but who cares? I am what I am and that's good enough for me. (But not good enough for my kids in 10 years probably;))

We'll see how I'm doing when I'm almost 50.

Peace allllllllll...............