"Fret not thyself because of evildoers, nor be envious against workers of iniquity, for they shall be cut down like grass..." Psalms 37:1-2
My mom used to love this Bible verse and she used it frequently. It was one of the first ones that I ever learned, one of the first she ever taught me. She seemed to think it was important that I knew and understood what it meant, mainly because of my father.
See, my father was supposed to love me ....but he didn't. And he made no bones about that fact. My father, I see in retrospect, had a lot of issues to deal with and he just chose hurting other people as his method of dealing.
When I was little, it used to really hurt me when he would look at me and call me stupid, or ugly or worthless. (You have to understand when I say little I mean like 4 or 5) And because my mom knew that it hurt me, and there was no way, even if were hundreds of miles away, that she could prevent it, she taught me this verse. It has stood me in good stead over the years.
Was my father cut down like grass? Well, it depends on how you look at it. He lived to be 70 years old and died alone. Alone....because he had burnt all of his bridges years before. The day that I found out that my father had died, I cried two tears.....one for that which never was and one for that which never would be. That was it. So although you might not say he was cut down, he certainly withered away. Which is sorta the same thing.
Anyway, my point in all of this that there are going to people in our lives that don't like us, maybe even hate us, for no reason.....no reason at all. And we will not always be able to depend on others to defend us or run interference for us or be our buffers. Because sometimes they won't and other times they just can't. So, in the end, you have to deal with it yourself. How you choose to deal is on you.
You can run and hide and duck your head everytime they come around and thus give them the power and control they need to continue feeding their hatred. (That one never worked for me....I am way too loud and opinionated for that;))
You can look for any excuse under the sun to start an argument with them , curse them out, verbally spit on them and dream of ways to kill them. (Tried that one.....for years. Decided it was too time consuming and draining. And it occurred to me...why am I wasting so much energy on this person??)
You can be happy with who you are and what you are doing and live your life in complete disregard of them. I have found that, for me, this is the best solution. See, there are people out there that still may not like me. And my response to that is "SO?" I'm not sleeping with you and I don't really care what you like." And then I put it, and them, out of my mind because I have better things to do with my life.
And when you truly, TRULY, stop giving a rat's red rump what ANYONE thinks of you.....it is so very liberating. The only one I truly have to answer to is God. Anyone else is completely negotiable, including Grover. I love him, but he doesn't always agree with what I say or do....and he doesn't have to. ( When he is in what I call "high trip mode" and he wants to argue or criticize and I find that I just don't have time for it I will simply interrupt him with a loud "BLAH!" ....and I will keep repeating it "BLAH!.....BLAH!....BLAH!" ...every 30 seconds until he shuts up...normally takes about 2 minutes tops for him to give up. This also works well with bosses and in-laws;))
Anyhow, as long as I know that what I am doing is what I'm supposed to be doing and that I am being the best person I can be, then I will not fret myself because of any of 'em. And if they don't like it welllllll.........I guess they can just go kick rocks, huh?
Peace allllll.............
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6 comments:
This is why I was so crushed when you left me (us). This is the kind of stuff I need ---> home-grown wisdom. But you know what's different about your wisdom versus most others? Yours makes sense ... and it works. You're a good woman, L, and I'm glad to have you on my side.
You are too kind, my friend. Life has a way of teaching ya things ya know:)
I think living well and happy is a beautiful way to thumb your nose at someone! It says: Do your worst! YOU don't have any bearing on my happiness!
Once again, WELL SAID!
To be perfectly honest, I had no idea you liked me so much. Thank you so much, Sprinkle. This is very inspiring. And while I hope to put forth the effort in your suggestion, it is sometimes hard when I see them on an almost daily basis. I try to ignore everything said to me and I still feel pushed down. But I don't have to see them at least for a few days now, so I will take your wisdom to heart and apply all of it in hopes of being stronger next time.
OGO: Thank you, thank you:)
Leslie: You didn't know that I like you so much because I guess I am just too shy and demure about expressing myself...HAHAHAHA!! I know very well how hard it is to manage this when you have to be in someone's face all of the time. However, with practice it gets easier, your skin gets a whole lot thicker and happiness kind of becomes a habit.
Light bulbs work well too. They sound is duller though;).
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