I love my job...sometimes. But lately I have been torn between being a stay at home mom or staying in the outside work force.
I would love to be a SAHM and it really wouldn't require a whole lot of financial dancing to make it work. However, I love to work outside the home as well....most of the time anyway. However, I can't escape the feeling of guilt in that somehow I am disenfranchising my kids somehow by not being at home with them all the time. (Ain't momma guilt a b****?) However, once again, once they start school, if I do stay at home, then what do I do? There not going to be there most of the day then and......well, I really don't know.
I have a feeling either way it goes, I'm gonna still feel guilty about it.
I had a customer last night who was drunk (yeah, what else is new, right?). He was so drunk that he forgot to pay his check (sure he was....wink, wink, nudge, nudge)....well, when the manager followed him out into the parking lot and brought him back in, he at first tried to pay for his meal with a pack of cigarettes (that's a new one on me). Then he asked could he bring the money in the next day for it. Ummm, yeah, since you've already established so much trust by walking out in the first place. He finally ended up calling a friend to come and pay for the bill. Too bad his friend couldn't have left a tip for him as well;)
And then there were the two young gay men who were having a lover's spat (quite loudly I might add) for about 45 minutes....."Well, if you loved me, you would do this for me!" Yeah, if y'all loved me you would shut up and go home.
Why is my best friend so horribly afraid of butterflies? She once had a dream when she was a teenager that she was attacked by a group of "gangster butterflies"......with Uzis and wearing pinstriped suits. She has been terrified of them ever since.
Heat indices have been up to 109 here. The lows here have only been in the mid to upper 70's. I still have customers that come in my air-conditioned workplace and say "oooh, it's cold in here." Somebody please give me a blunt object so I can make quick and thorough use of it.
I believe I am having a mid-life crisis a few years too soon.
There is a 17 year old that I work with that has asked me and a co-worker to take him out on his 18th birthday because he "loves older women" (insert wild, raucous and unrestrained laughter here....) How old do you have to be to qualify as "an older woman" I wonder.
My kids have gotten into the ink pad and they're walking around looking like photograph negatives now.
Remember, all in all......life is good.....just moments of it may suck. I think I'm having a moment.
Peace allllll.............
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2 comments:
I'm really only qualified to comment on the SAHM portion of your post. I have stayed at home for nearly 10 years. I worked before I had her and there are indeed times I miss having the outside "stimulation". I have to admit that though I love staying home with the kids I have indeed had times of guilt over not contributing to our family financially. Those are the times that my husband reminds me of all the things I do around the house that give him peace of mind. He knows his children are cared for, the bills are paid, the house is clean etc. etc.
As far as what you would do when they are schoolage, you could volunteer at their school. I did that with my daughter up until I got pregnant with my son (i was sick a lot) It was a lot of fun! It was also great to get to know her friends and the sort of stuff that was going on in the classroom. Taylor loved it too. (I wanted to do those things for her before it was uncool!) As a volunteer you get to do the fun stuff without the pressure of being the teacher! That is also the time I took on a VERY part time job as a book rep. It only took a few hours a couple of times a week. It was enough to give me something just for me without giving up my stay at home status.
I'm not trying to sway you either way. It is a very personal decision. I'm not one of those people who think any ONE way is right. I'm sure you will figure it out. ( Boy I hope this makes sense I'm fighting a one year olds grabby fingers while I'm trying to type! It isn't easy!)
Thanks for the advice. Don't ya love when the toddlers try to edit for you?:)
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