"Fret not thyself because of evildoers, nor be envious against workers of iniquity, for they shall be cut down like grass..." Psalms 37:1-2
My mom used to love this Bible verse and she used it frequently. It was one of the first ones that I ever learned, one of the first she ever taught me. She seemed to think it was important that I knew and understood what it meant, mainly because of my father.
See, my father was supposed to love me ....but he didn't. And he made no bones about that fact. My father, I see in retrospect, had a lot of issues to deal with and he just chose hurting other people as his method of dealing.
When I was little, it used to really hurt me when he would look at me and call me stupid, or ugly or worthless. (You have to understand when I say little I mean like 4 or 5) And because my mom knew that it hurt me, and there was no way, even if were hundreds of miles away, that she could prevent it, she taught me this verse. It has stood me in good stead over the years.
Was my father cut down like grass? Well, it depends on how you look at it. He lived to be 70 years old and died alone. Alone....because he had burnt all of his bridges years before. The day that I found out that my father had died, I cried two tears.....one for that which never was and one for that which never would be. That was it. So although you might not say he was cut down, he certainly withered away. Which is sorta the same thing.
Anyway, my point in all of this that there are going to people in our lives that don't like us, maybe even hate us, for no reason.....no reason at all. And we will not always be able to depend on others to defend us or run interference for us or be our buffers. Because sometimes they won't and other times they just can't. So, in the end, you have to deal with it yourself. How you choose to deal is on you.
You can run and hide and duck your head everytime they come around and thus give them the power and control they need to continue feeding their hatred. (That one never worked for me....I am way too loud and opinionated for that;))
You can look for any excuse under the sun to start an argument with them , curse them out, verbally spit on them and dream of ways to kill them. (Tried that one.....for years. Decided it was too time consuming and draining. And it occurred to me...why am I wasting so much energy on this person??)
You can be happy with who you are and what you are doing and live your life in complete disregard of them. I have found that, for me, this is the best solution. See, there are people out there that still may not like me. And my response to that is "SO?" I'm not sleeping with you and I don't really care what you like." And then I put it, and them, out of my mind because I have better things to do with my life.
And when you truly, TRULY, stop giving a rat's red rump what ANYONE thinks of you.....it is so very liberating. The only one I truly have to answer to is God. Anyone else is completely negotiable, including Grover. I love him, but he doesn't always agree with what I say or do....and he doesn't have to. ( When he is in what I call "high trip mode" and he wants to argue or criticize and I find that I just don't have time for it I will simply interrupt him with a loud "BLAH!" ....and I will keep repeating it "BLAH!.....BLAH!....BLAH!" ...every 30 seconds until he shuts up...normally takes about 2 minutes tops for him to give up. This also works well with bosses and in-laws;))
Anyhow, as long as I know that what I am doing is what I'm supposed to be doing and that I am being the best person I can be, then I will not fret myself because of any of 'em. And if they don't like it welllllll.........I guess they can just go kick rocks, huh?
Peace allllll.............
Sunday, July 31, 2005
Friday, July 29, 2005
Excuses, Excuses
Why, in this day of chronic self-absorption, do so many people refuse to be held accountable for their own actions? They would rather point the finger at or place the blame on anyone or anything other than themselves.
"I had a hard childhood"......
"My parents didn't show me enough attention"
"My parents showed me too much attention"
"The guy next door has a better job than I do"
"She's prettier than I am"
"I'm just under a lot of stress"
Most of us have had some or all of the above thoughts. Most of us just deal with it and move on. It's part of the human condition. But there are a few, and the numbers are growing, that use statements very similar to these to excuse away any of their actions.
"Well, I was rude to that cashier because I had a rough day at work and she was just so cheerful." So you decided to try to ruin her day as well.
"I bit your head off this morning because I hadn't had enough sleep the night before." Oh, so you're saying that your brain wasn't functioning too well because of sleep deprivation? But you came up with such inventive phrases! The imagination part of your brain was performing quite admirably.
"My parents abused me when I was a child." Okay, and knowing what this feels like, you are going to choose to spread the love to your own kids in the same fashion? Hmmm, sounds to me like you oughta be knocking the crap out of your parents vs. your kids.
"My father cheated on my mother." And seeing what your mom went through behind it, you are choosing to treat your own spouse the same way. Sorry, I just don't see how that works.
"You looked at me the wrong way the other day, so I just decided to get back at you by spreading lies about you to your friends and neighbors." Sounds to me like it's time for your inner child to grow the heck up.
These are the same people who offer qualified apologies:
"I'm sorry but......"
"I know I was a jerk but....."
"I know that I hurt your feelings but...."
But what? But despite the fact that you know that you were in the wrong and that your behavior was unacceptable and inappropriate, you are still seeking to put the blame on someone other than yourself? That you are still trying to find excuses that make you look good?
It's called ACCOUNTABILITY. Admitting that you were wrong without blaming anyone but you. No ifs, ands or buts......no qualifiers. Just saying "I'm sorry......I was wrong. Will you please forgive me?"
Sounds pretty simple ......why do so many people find it so hard to do?
Peace alllll...............
"I had a hard childhood"......
"My parents didn't show me enough attention"
"My parents showed me too much attention"
"The guy next door has a better job than I do"
"She's prettier than I am"
"I'm just under a lot of stress"
Most of us have had some or all of the above thoughts. Most of us just deal with it and move on. It's part of the human condition. But there are a few, and the numbers are growing, that use statements very similar to these to excuse away any of their actions.
"Well, I was rude to that cashier because I had a rough day at work and she was just so cheerful." So you decided to try to ruin her day as well.
"I bit your head off this morning because I hadn't had enough sleep the night before." Oh, so you're saying that your brain wasn't functioning too well because of sleep deprivation? But you came up with such inventive phrases! The imagination part of your brain was performing quite admirably.
"My parents abused me when I was a child." Okay, and knowing what this feels like, you are going to choose to spread the love to your own kids in the same fashion? Hmmm, sounds to me like you oughta be knocking the crap out of your parents vs. your kids.
"My father cheated on my mother." And seeing what your mom went through behind it, you are choosing to treat your own spouse the same way. Sorry, I just don't see how that works.
"You looked at me the wrong way the other day, so I just decided to get back at you by spreading lies about you to your friends and neighbors." Sounds to me like it's time for your inner child to grow the heck up.
These are the same people who offer qualified apologies:
"I'm sorry but......"
"I know I was a jerk but....."
"I know that I hurt your feelings but...."
But what? But despite the fact that you know that you were in the wrong and that your behavior was unacceptable and inappropriate, you are still seeking to put the blame on someone other than yourself? That you are still trying to find excuses that make you look good?
It's called ACCOUNTABILITY. Admitting that you were wrong without blaming anyone but you. No ifs, ands or buts......no qualifiers. Just saying "I'm sorry......I was wrong. Will you please forgive me?"
Sounds pretty simple ......why do so many people find it so hard to do?
Peace alllll...............
Thursday, July 28, 2005
My Meme
Got this one from OGO, who was tagged by Heather:
Five Things I Miss About Being A Kid:
1. My mom's bedtime stories. These weren't made up fairy tales....no Cinderella or once upon a time. My mom was born during the Depression and I always used to like to hear her stories of buying a week's worth of groceries for a dollar, or going to see the movies for a nickel, the radio serial shows that used to come on and how they made it with no AC or television. Or her high school romances and the 'one that got away'. It got to the point that I had heard all of the stories at least 5 times by the time I was 18 and I still wanted to hear them over and over again. I tell them to my kids now. When I was in grade school, I also used to ask her to 'give me something to dream about' before I went to bed and she always did. I never slept as well as I did then.
2. Back to school: Although I loved the summer as much as any other kid, back to school was always a thrill. New clothes, new school supplies, new BOOKS. Plus, back when I was a kid, school started a little closer to fall than it does now and so that fall smell was in the air.
3. Summertime. Lightning bugs, june bugs, dragon flies, cicadas .....I used to catch 'em all. Plus, rolling around in the grass all day and treating the chigger bites at night. Mom didn't let you sit under the AC all day then and there were no video games or PCs so you made your own fun. You either went swimming in the creek or the closest neighbor's pool or you went out and played games. You remember those: Hide and Seek, Tag, Red Rover, cowboys and Indians ( I was always the Indian thank you:))
4. Holidays: Christmas and Halloween were (are) my two favorites. Wondering what Santa was going to bring me, going to church and looking at all the lights all over town. On Halloween, my mom used to decorate the house as well and sit just behind the front door (with all the interior lights off) and try to scare the kids when they came up on the porch. Worked pretty well, as evidenced by the amount of candy we had left over;)
5. Saturdays!: Now that I'm grown, Saturday is just another work day for me. However, when I was a kid, it was a mini-vacation. For the first few hours of the day, the T.V. was mine: cartoons, cartoons, cartoons, and then American Bandstand (funny, Dick Clark still looks the same now as he did then). After that, it was a full day of bike riding, going to the creek, selling Girl Scout cookies (you could actually go from house to house then), going to my friends' house and dancing to records (that's right : records, not CDs) and roller skating on skates with metal wheels. Busted my butt more than a few times on those.
Even though I am now too old (and often too cynical) to enjoy kid's stuff the same way that I did back then, I can watch my own kids enjoy it now. And, sometimes, that's even more fun for me. Hopefully, me playing "Mad Dog" with them will be one of their favorite memories. I know it'll be one of mine.
Peace allll..........
Five Things I Miss About Being A Kid:
1. My mom's bedtime stories. These weren't made up fairy tales....no Cinderella or once upon a time. My mom was born during the Depression and I always used to like to hear her stories of buying a week's worth of groceries for a dollar, or going to see the movies for a nickel, the radio serial shows that used to come on and how they made it with no AC or television. Or her high school romances and the 'one that got away'. It got to the point that I had heard all of the stories at least 5 times by the time I was 18 and I still wanted to hear them over and over again. I tell them to my kids now. When I was in grade school, I also used to ask her to 'give me something to dream about' before I went to bed and she always did. I never slept as well as I did then.
2. Back to school: Although I loved the summer as much as any other kid, back to school was always a thrill. New clothes, new school supplies, new BOOKS. Plus, back when I was a kid, school started a little closer to fall than it does now and so that fall smell was in the air.
3. Summertime. Lightning bugs, june bugs, dragon flies, cicadas .....I used to catch 'em all. Plus, rolling around in the grass all day and treating the chigger bites at night. Mom didn't let you sit under the AC all day then and there were no video games or PCs so you made your own fun. You either went swimming in the creek or the closest neighbor's pool or you went out and played games. You remember those: Hide and Seek, Tag, Red Rover, cowboys and Indians ( I was always the Indian thank you:))
4. Holidays: Christmas and Halloween were (are) my two favorites. Wondering what Santa was going to bring me, going to church and looking at all the lights all over town. On Halloween, my mom used to decorate the house as well and sit just behind the front door (with all the interior lights off) and try to scare the kids when they came up on the porch. Worked pretty well, as evidenced by the amount of candy we had left over;)
5. Saturdays!: Now that I'm grown, Saturday is just another work day for me. However, when I was a kid, it was a mini-vacation. For the first few hours of the day, the T.V. was mine: cartoons, cartoons, cartoons, and then American Bandstand (funny, Dick Clark still looks the same now as he did then). After that, it was a full day of bike riding, going to the creek, selling Girl Scout cookies (you could actually go from house to house then), going to my friends' house and dancing to records (that's right : records, not CDs) and roller skating on skates with metal wheels. Busted my butt more than a few times on those.
Even though I am now too old (and often too cynical) to enjoy kid's stuff the same way that I did back then, I can watch my own kids enjoy it now. And, sometimes, that's even more fun for me. Hopefully, me playing "Mad Dog" with them will be one of their favorite memories. I know it'll be one of mine.
Peace allll..........
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Gang of Four
These are my four favorite guys. They are Jakob (aka Fish), Joshua (aka Moona Tuna), Grover (aka Grover (he's holding Jakob when he was like 2 months old (Jakob that is, not Grover;))), and Lukas (aka Louie). They are loud, messy and absolutely disruptive and I love them all, yes I do:). As for my picture, I keep trying to take it but the camera keeps breaking;) Of course, these pictures are about 6 months old, except Grover's (that's like a year) but everybody still looks pretty much the same. Grover just has a little less hair is all.....mwuahahaha! Just thought I would give faces to the names I rant and rave about:)
Peace alllll............
Tin Can Alley
Life is hard. This is a fact. The longer you live and the more you experience, the more things you tend to pick up and carry. Some people refer to this as 'baggage', some people call it 'clutter.' I call it my collection of tin cans. One tin can is not too hard to manage, but when you get a whole lot of 'em stored up they can be one heavy, noisy, ugly mess. Periodically, you need to sit down and sort through your cans. Before you can do that, however, you have to unload all of them. Then you can pick out the ones that have become such a part of you that you would not be the same person without them.
The cans that I have unloaded are: insecurity, self-doubt, self-loathing, anxiety, what ifs, unconstructive negativity, beating myself up, toxic people,.........and the list goes on and on and on. Of course, over time these will build back up again...they always do. Like dust bunnies under your bed. But for now, they are not hindering me.
These are the cans that I have decided to keep:
My faith in God: easily done some days, other days....well, maybe a little harder. But it is who I am. I can't live without Him...don't even want to try.
My marriage: yes, this had to be looked at as well. Of course, I was sure this was a keeper (pretty sure anyway.....hey, we all have our days ya know;)).
My kids: was there ever any doubt? Of course not.....my life's most important work is raising good kids who eventually turn out to be even better adults one day.
My job: this was a hard one;however, I really do like the people I work with. Not my bosses, mind you.....still can't stand most of them. My co-workers are the best group of people I could ever hope to work with. Not to mention my regular customers who threatened to hunt me down and shoot me if I quit. God bless 'em all. For a group of (mainly) drunks and college students (or both) they ain't too bad.
And last but not least....
My blog: this may sound incredibly stupid to a lot of people and that is perfectly fine with me. But I wasn't sure if I had anything else to say...at least anything relevant. However, after going through you guys comments and blog obits (I had never heard of that until now by the way) and at least 2 (count 'em ....2) boxes of tissues while doing so......maybe I was wrong. Okay, I'll admit it. One of the few times in my life I have readily agreed to do so. I WAS WRONG. I still have a lot to say, relevant or not.....maybe too much some days. But I must ask, before I post another word on here.....please accept my heartfelt apologies. I AM TRULY SORRY.......and I humbly ask each and every one of your forgiveness for being such a selfish, inconsiderate troll. If you never decide to visit me again I will certainly understand.
Thank you all for being there for me during a very (and you don't even know the half of it) difficult time. You guys have supported me more than my own family has through this and for that you have my eternal gratitude.
My mom used to tell me: "Be careful how you approach a person. You don't know what kind of day or what kind of life they have had.....your words could make them or break them. Be kind."
Thank you for making me.
Thank you for being kind. It's a lost art these days.
And now....if you'll excuse me....I have to pick up my chosen cans (not to mention a third box of tissues).
Like I said ......I wouldn't be the same without you. Y'all are the best.:)
Peace allllll..............
The cans that I have unloaded are: insecurity, self-doubt, self-loathing, anxiety, what ifs, unconstructive negativity, beating myself up, toxic people,.........and the list goes on and on and on. Of course, over time these will build back up again...they always do. Like dust bunnies under your bed. But for now, they are not hindering me.
These are the cans that I have decided to keep:
My faith in God: easily done some days, other days....well, maybe a little harder. But it is who I am. I can't live without Him...don't even want to try.
My marriage: yes, this had to be looked at as well. Of course, I was sure this was a keeper (pretty sure anyway.....hey, we all have our days ya know;)).
My kids: was there ever any doubt? Of course not.....my life's most important work is raising good kids who eventually turn out to be even better adults one day.
My job: this was a hard one;however, I really do like the people I work with. Not my bosses, mind you.....still can't stand most of them. My co-workers are the best group of people I could ever hope to work with. Not to mention my regular customers who threatened to hunt me down and shoot me if I quit. God bless 'em all. For a group of (mainly) drunks and college students (or both) they ain't too bad.
And last but not least....
My blog: this may sound incredibly stupid to a lot of people and that is perfectly fine with me. But I wasn't sure if I had anything else to say...at least anything relevant. However, after going through you guys comments and blog obits (I had never heard of that until now by the way) and at least 2 (count 'em ....2) boxes of tissues while doing so......maybe I was wrong. Okay, I'll admit it. One of the few times in my life I have readily agreed to do so. I WAS WRONG. I still have a lot to say, relevant or not.....maybe too much some days. But I must ask, before I post another word on here.....please accept my heartfelt apologies. I AM TRULY SORRY.......and I humbly ask each and every one of your forgiveness for being such a selfish, inconsiderate troll. If you never decide to visit me again I will certainly understand.
Thank you all for being there for me during a very (and you don't even know the half of it) difficult time. You guys have supported me more than my own family has through this and for that you have my eternal gratitude.
My mom used to tell me: "Be careful how you approach a person. You don't know what kind of day or what kind of life they have had.....your words could make them or break them. Be kind."
Thank you for making me.
Thank you for being kind. It's a lost art these days.
And now....if you'll excuse me....I have to pick up my chosen cans (not to mention a third box of tissues).
Like I said ......I wouldn't be the same without you. Y'all are the best.:)
Peace allllll..............
Sunday, July 24, 2005
The Time Has Come
"The time has come," the Walrus said, "to talk of many things.....of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings."- Lewis Carroll
One of my favorite quotes of all time.....my mom taught the whole thing to me when I was a kid....I think that may have something to do with it. She used to quote it when she wanted to talk to me....about serious things, silly things.....anything really.
It has been my great pleasure over the past year to become blog friends with many of you. Your stories, rants, raves, kvetching and observations have made my day many, many times. You have made me laugh, cry.....occasionally you have ticked me off (like that's new;)).....but you have always made me think....and that's a good thing...for anyone. You have often unknowingly provided much needed comfort by making me realize that I am not alone in a world that has sometimes gone mad. You have all provided what I consider friendship, the finest gift that anyone can receive.
And for all of the above I thank you dearly from the bottom of my heart.
I always end my posts with the phrase "peace alllll.......". The reason for this is that I think peace is the greatest blessing one person could hope for another. Peace of heart, peace of mind, peace of spirit. That no matter what your situation, no matter how rough it may be, that you will have peace within. Because if you have that, then everything else may not be inconsequential, but certainly a lot more bearable. This is my wish for you all......peace.
Shane: You are so much further along your path than you will ever know. Decades from now, hopefully you will look back and realize this. Open your heart, get to know yourself a little better, give yourself a break sometimes. It's hard being a man, and it doesn't get much easier, no matter how much you know. So give yourself some credit. Thanks for being the first person to ever really read this explosion of words several months ago. And remember, when the clocktower comes calling.....don't pick up the phone. Thank you for pride and honesty.
Heather: My God, you are a beautiful woman. And I don't mean just on the outside. You have a beautiful spirit, a warmth that comes through in every word you write. Do not let anyone take that from you......ever. You may be small but I firmly believe you cover all of the ground you stand on. You have the three greatest assets that any woman can possess: wisdom, the soul of a warrior and the heart of a lion. Thank you for beauty and sunlight through autumn leaves.
Red: Cinnamon, red hot candies, salsa........and tango as well. You have so many words...so many truths and never enough time to put them all out there. No matter what your hair color .....Red is the perfect word for you. Thank you for fire and explosions, and just for being so ticked off sometimes. It wakes the world up around you.
OGO: A feather bed with a down comforter. Such a Momma (and that is such a good thing!) There are just not enough words that I can put in the right ways to tell you how I feel. So I will just say: thank you for being my FRIEND. It means more than you know.
CCB: A gremlin with a wicked sense of humor. Thank you for seeing the funky, freaky side of life.
Adrienne: You are stronger than you realize. May the wings of angels and the hand of God hold you and bless you.
Thank you all for being there.
And now I must say good night.
God bless you ......even those of you who don't believe in Him.
And to all of the lurkers and anonymous readers: thanks for stopping by!
She opens the door.....
Turns out the light...
Steps outside....
Closes the door.....
And walks off into the night.
And now one last time....
For all of you......
Peace alllllllllllll......................
One of my favorite quotes of all time.....my mom taught the whole thing to me when I was a kid....I think that may have something to do with it. She used to quote it when she wanted to talk to me....about serious things, silly things.....anything really.
It has been my great pleasure over the past year to become blog friends with many of you. Your stories, rants, raves, kvetching and observations have made my day many, many times. You have made me laugh, cry.....occasionally you have ticked me off (like that's new;)).....but you have always made me think....and that's a good thing...for anyone. You have often unknowingly provided much needed comfort by making me realize that I am not alone in a world that has sometimes gone mad. You have all provided what I consider friendship, the finest gift that anyone can receive.
And for all of the above I thank you dearly from the bottom of my heart.
I always end my posts with the phrase "peace alllll.......". The reason for this is that I think peace is the greatest blessing one person could hope for another. Peace of heart, peace of mind, peace of spirit. That no matter what your situation, no matter how rough it may be, that you will have peace within. Because if you have that, then everything else may not be inconsequential, but certainly a lot more bearable. This is my wish for you all......peace.
Shane: You are so much further along your path than you will ever know. Decades from now, hopefully you will look back and realize this. Open your heart, get to know yourself a little better, give yourself a break sometimes. It's hard being a man, and it doesn't get much easier, no matter how much you know. So give yourself some credit. Thanks for being the first person to ever really read this explosion of words several months ago. And remember, when the clocktower comes calling.....don't pick up the phone. Thank you for pride and honesty.
Heather: My God, you are a beautiful woman. And I don't mean just on the outside. You have a beautiful spirit, a warmth that comes through in every word you write. Do not let anyone take that from you......ever. You may be small but I firmly believe you cover all of the ground you stand on. You have the three greatest assets that any woman can possess: wisdom, the soul of a warrior and the heart of a lion. Thank you for beauty and sunlight through autumn leaves.
Red: Cinnamon, red hot candies, salsa........and tango as well. You have so many words...so many truths and never enough time to put them all out there. No matter what your hair color .....Red is the perfect word for you. Thank you for fire and explosions, and just for being so ticked off sometimes. It wakes the world up around you.
OGO: A feather bed with a down comforter. Such a Momma (and that is such a good thing!) There are just not enough words that I can put in the right ways to tell you how I feel. So I will just say: thank you for being my FRIEND. It means more than you know.
CCB: A gremlin with a wicked sense of humor. Thank you for seeing the funky, freaky side of life.
Adrienne: You are stronger than you realize. May the wings of angels and the hand of God hold you and bless you.
Thank you all for being there.
And now I must say good night.
God bless you ......even those of you who don't believe in Him.
And to all of the lurkers and anonymous readers: thanks for stopping by!
She opens the door.....
Turns out the light...
Steps outside....
Closes the door.....
And walks off into the night.
And now one last time....
For all of you......
Peace alllllllllllll......................
Saturday, July 23, 2005
Warning: Extreme Randomness Ahead
I love my job...sometimes. But lately I have been torn between being a stay at home mom or staying in the outside work force.
I would love to be a SAHM and it really wouldn't require a whole lot of financial dancing to make it work. However, I love to work outside the home as well....most of the time anyway. However, I can't escape the feeling of guilt in that somehow I am disenfranchising my kids somehow by not being at home with them all the time. (Ain't momma guilt a b****?) However, once again, once they start school, if I do stay at home, then what do I do? There not going to be there most of the day then and......well, I really don't know.
I have a feeling either way it goes, I'm gonna still feel guilty about it.
I had a customer last night who was drunk (yeah, what else is new, right?). He was so drunk that he forgot to pay his check (sure he was....wink, wink, nudge, nudge)....well, when the manager followed him out into the parking lot and brought him back in, he at first tried to pay for his meal with a pack of cigarettes (that's a new one on me). Then he asked could he bring the money in the next day for it. Ummm, yeah, since you've already established so much trust by walking out in the first place. He finally ended up calling a friend to come and pay for the bill. Too bad his friend couldn't have left a tip for him as well;)
And then there were the two young gay men who were having a lover's spat (quite loudly I might add) for about 45 minutes....."Well, if you loved me, you would do this for me!" Yeah, if y'all loved me you would shut up and go home.
Why is my best friend so horribly afraid of butterflies? She once had a dream when she was a teenager that she was attacked by a group of "gangster butterflies"......with Uzis and wearing pinstriped suits. She has been terrified of them ever since.
Heat indices have been up to 109 here. The lows here have only been in the mid to upper 70's. I still have customers that come in my air-conditioned workplace and say "oooh, it's cold in here." Somebody please give me a blunt object so I can make quick and thorough use of it.
I believe I am having a mid-life crisis a few years too soon.
There is a 17 year old that I work with that has asked me and a co-worker to take him out on his 18th birthday because he "loves older women" (insert wild, raucous and unrestrained laughter here....) How old do you have to be to qualify as "an older woman" I wonder.
My kids have gotten into the ink pad and they're walking around looking like photograph negatives now.
Remember, all in all......life is good.....just moments of it may suck. I think I'm having a moment.
Peace allllll.............
I would love to be a SAHM and it really wouldn't require a whole lot of financial dancing to make it work. However, I love to work outside the home as well....most of the time anyway. However, I can't escape the feeling of guilt in that somehow I am disenfranchising my kids somehow by not being at home with them all the time. (Ain't momma guilt a b****?) However, once again, once they start school, if I do stay at home, then what do I do? There not going to be there most of the day then and......well, I really don't know.
I have a feeling either way it goes, I'm gonna still feel guilty about it.
I had a customer last night who was drunk (yeah, what else is new, right?). He was so drunk that he forgot to pay his check (sure he was....wink, wink, nudge, nudge)....well, when the manager followed him out into the parking lot and brought him back in, he at first tried to pay for his meal with a pack of cigarettes (that's a new one on me). Then he asked could he bring the money in the next day for it. Ummm, yeah, since you've already established so much trust by walking out in the first place. He finally ended up calling a friend to come and pay for the bill. Too bad his friend couldn't have left a tip for him as well;)
And then there were the two young gay men who were having a lover's spat (quite loudly I might add) for about 45 minutes....."Well, if you loved me, you would do this for me!" Yeah, if y'all loved me you would shut up and go home.
Why is my best friend so horribly afraid of butterflies? She once had a dream when she was a teenager that she was attacked by a group of "gangster butterflies"......with Uzis and wearing pinstriped suits. She has been terrified of them ever since.
Heat indices have been up to 109 here. The lows here have only been in the mid to upper 70's. I still have customers that come in my air-conditioned workplace and say "oooh, it's cold in here." Somebody please give me a blunt object so I can make quick and thorough use of it.
I believe I am having a mid-life crisis a few years too soon.
There is a 17 year old that I work with that has asked me and a co-worker to take him out on his 18th birthday because he "loves older women" (insert wild, raucous and unrestrained laughter here....) How old do you have to be to qualify as "an older woman" I wonder.
My kids have gotten into the ink pad and they're walking around looking like photograph negatives now.
Remember, all in all......life is good.....just moments of it may suck. I think I'm having a moment.
Peace allllll.............
Monday, July 18, 2005
Hey, Harry...
Well, I bought my copy of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince yesterday and finished it today. And well, what can I say? I laughed, I cried, I wanted to jerk a knot in Ms. Rowlings for the (in my opinion) horribly unfair ending. However, that's just me......
For all of those people who are in an uproar over the whole Harry Potter series: get a grip! I am a Christian woman and have been for some time. I am very careful about what books I let my kids read, this is true. HOWEVER, having read the entire Harry Potter series, I can say only one thing.....this is fantasy people! There is no real Hogwarts school of magic....it's a fairy tale! If your child does not know the difference between fantasy and reality, then by all means do not let them read this material. But any kid who knows what the term "make believe" means I think is pretty safe reading it. Of course, you have to consider these people are the same ones who would have no qualms about reading "Three Blind Mice" ( a tale of animal abuse.....tale/tail....get it? ha ha!!) or "Rumplestiltskin" (psychotic little troll he was). As a matter of fact, if you read "Grimm's Fairy Tales" or even "Mother Goose", that stuff is pretty darn scary when you think about it!
Remember, the common fairy tales that we grew up with were once considered almost heresy. They turned out to be what?.......fairy tales, make believe stories....fantasy. So is Mr. Potter and his group. And besides, you can always consider the fact that it is a good vs. evil story. And good eventually wins, despite some side steps along the way. I think anybody can take heart in that.
Peace allll.............
P.S. At least the kids who are reading these books are READING. And who knows, if they read one, they may read more! Oh, my, a country with children who can actually read....who woulda thunk it????
For all of those people who are in an uproar over the whole Harry Potter series: get a grip! I am a Christian woman and have been for some time. I am very careful about what books I let my kids read, this is true. HOWEVER, having read the entire Harry Potter series, I can say only one thing.....this is fantasy people! There is no real Hogwarts school of magic....it's a fairy tale! If your child does not know the difference between fantasy and reality, then by all means do not let them read this material. But any kid who knows what the term "make believe" means I think is pretty safe reading it. Of course, you have to consider these people are the same ones who would have no qualms about reading "Three Blind Mice" ( a tale of animal abuse.....tale/tail....get it? ha ha!!) or "Rumplestiltskin" (psychotic little troll he was). As a matter of fact, if you read "Grimm's Fairy Tales" or even "Mother Goose", that stuff is pretty darn scary when you think about it!
Remember, the common fairy tales that we grew up with were once considered almost heresy. They turned out to be what?.......fairy tales, make believe stories....fantasy. So is Mr. Potter and his group. And besides, you can always consider the fact that it is a good vs. evil story. And good eventually wins, despite some side steps along the way. I think anybody can take heart in that.
Peace allll.............
P.S. At least the kids who are reading these books are READING. And who knows, if they read one, they may read more! Oh, my, a country with children who can actually read....who woulda thunk it????
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Vexations
It is almost 5 a.m. here at sprinkles house, the house of sprinkles aka sprinkles emporium. Everyone is asleep but me, as usual. This is the perfect time to go over the last few days in my head and just start chunking stuff out. These are the things that have vexed me this week.
1. My friend Meghan got played. See, she went out with this guy a couple of times, slept with him (not the smartest thing), and now he has told her at the beginning of the week that he is moving in the next week and a half to Texas to become a member of the San Antonio police department. Now, in my opinion, I think that he was probably well aware that he was going to be doing this before they started seeing each other, considering the fact that they only "dated" for 2 weeks. I also think that maybe he could have given her this little tidbit of information before they SLEPT TOGETHER. Would have just been the gentlemanly thing to do. But then again, maybe I'm just a little behind the times.
2. My best friend , Rachel and I had a heated debate the other morning about 2 a.m. were she was more or less blaming God for everything that had gone wrong in her life. Yeah, yeah, we all do that from time to time. However, when it comes to blaming God for the choices that YOU have made during your life, well, that's just refusing to accept responsibility for your own actions. Plus, why are you arguing about this at 2 in the morning? Go to bed!
3. Grover and I had a minor tiff yesterday morning. I believe the two most memorable lines from that one were:
Grover: "oh, grow up!"
Lila: "oh, go to hell!"
There is a lot to be said for being succinct, yes? ;) Anyway, he apologized later.....about 12 hours later....because he finally realized it was his fault. Like I told him, I knew it was his fault in the first place and if he had just listened to me, he would have been alright. Men....can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em without getting caught.
4. Who are these customers that bring their small, very small children out to a resaurant at 3 in the morning? Take those kids home and put them in the bed please. (Unless of course, you're traveling or there is some other really good excuse to have them out at that ungodly hour)
5. Josh, my 11 year old, has begun to complain about the chores he is given around the house. His catchphrase? "I'm tired" in that whiny, petulant, 2 octave above dog hearing range voice. I know, darling......swimming everyday and watching the Disney channel all night must be so taxing on your youthful body. Wanna trade places?? I would pull a "Freaky Friday" in a minute if I could. Tired.....hmph.
6. On the 4th of July, a teenager threw a firework the wrong way and it exploded right by Grover's ear. He has been to the doctor twice, is on medication to reduce the insane amount of swelling in his ear canal and they are not sure if there is nerve damage or not, hopefully not. I can't find the teenager in question. I know he is around here somewhere and when he pops his little cowardly head out of his self-imposed gopher hole, I will be there to give him the thrashing he deserves. Idiot....there are rules for fireworks for a reason.
7. I spent an hour and a half last night cooking a wonderfully cholesterol laden dinner and hardly anyone ate because they were all "really tired.....the rain over the past few days just really has us all dragging". Yeah, well, drag your happy butts into the kitchen and clean it, because I've done all the work I'm going to do in there for one day. Oh, yeah, and we're having leftovers tonight! (BTW, it was pork chops, squash casserole and fried green tomatoes....a true southern epicurean delight!)
Anyway, I'll stop here for now. Not that I don't have a lot more stuff to kvetch about....I do. I just really, really, really hate the number 8. Don't ask me why....it's a long story.
And Grover's alarm is going off, so it's time to do the adult babysitting job of making sure he gets up for work on time.......again.
Peace alllll...............
1. My friend Meghan got played. See, she went out with this guy a couple of times, slept with him (not the smartest thing), and now he has told her at the beginning of the week that he is moving in the next week and a half to Texas to become a member of the San Antonio police department. Now, in my opinion, I think that he was probably well aware that he was going to be doing this before they started seeing each other, considering the fact that they only "dated" for 2 weeks. I also think that maybe he could have given her this little tidbit of information before they SLEPT TOGETHER. Would have just been the gentlemanly thing to do. But then again, maybe I'm just a little behind the times.
2. My best friend , Rachel and I had a heated debate the other morning about 2 a.m. were she was more or less blaming God for everything that had gone wrong in her life. Yeah, yeah, we all do that from time to time. However, when it comes to blaming God for the choices that YOU have made during your life, well, that's just refusing to accept responsibility for your own actions. Plus, why are you arguing about this at 2 in the morning? Go to bed!
3. Grover and I had a minor tiff yesterday morning. I believe the two most memorable lines from that one were:
Grover: "oh, grow up!"
Lila: "oh, go to hell!"
There is a lot to be said for being succinct, yes? ;) Anyway, he apologized later.....about 12 hours later....because he finally realized it was his fault. Like I told him, I knew it was his fault in the first place and if he had just listened to me, he would have been alright. Men....can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em without getting caught.
4. Who are these customers that bring their small, very small children out to a resaurant at 3 in the morning? Take those kids home and put them in the bed please. (Unless of course, you're traveling or there is some other really good excuse to have them out at that ungodly hour)
5. Josh, my 11 year old, has begun to complain about the chores he is given around the house. His catchphrase? "I'm tired" in that whiny, petulant, 2 octave above dog hearing range voice. I know, darling......swimming everyday and watching the Disney channel all night must be so taxing on your youthful body. Wanna trade places?? I would pull a "Freaky Friday" in a minute if I could. Tired.....hmph.
6. On the 4th of July, a teenager threw a firework the wrong way and it exploded right by Grover's ear. He has been to the doctor twice, is on medication to reduce the insane amount of swelling in his ear canal and they are not sure if there is nerve damage or not, hopefully not. I can't find the teenager in question. I know he is around here somewhere and when he pops his little cowardly head out of his self-imposed gopher hole, I will be there to give him the thrashing he deserves. Idiot....there are rules for fireworks for a reason.
7. I spent an hour and a half last night cooking a wonderfully cholesterol laden dinner and hardly anyone ate because they were all "really tired.....the rain over the past few days just really has us all dragging". Yeah, well, drag your happy butts into the kitchen and clean it, because I've done all the work I'm going to do in there for one day. Oh, yeah, and we're having leftovers tonight! (BTW, it was pork chops, squash casserole and fried green tomatoes....a true southern epicurean delight!)
Anyway, I'll stop here for now. Not that I don't have a lot more stuff to kvetch about....I do. I just really, really, really hate the number 8. Don't ask me why....it's a long story.
And Grover's alarm is going off, so it's time to do the adult babysitting job of making sure he gets up for work on time.......again.
Peace alllll...............
Sunday, July 10, 2005
Darnit, Dennis!
Well, Hurricane Dennis has just hit south Alabama along the Pensacola area. And seeing as how that isn't too terribly far away from us, I am sure we will be experiencing the usual flooding and high winds fairly soon. And since this is Alabama, the electricity will go out for a time I am sure. Ah......you gotta love the south!
Anyhow, I am going to go enjoy the cool breeze before the rains run me in and then....nap time. If this weather is good for nothing else, it makes for the best sleep.
Here's hoping for the best for the guys south of me. The ones that didn't evacuate and decided to stick it out down there. God bless you all and be safe. For the rest of them that decided to head this way....IHOP is open 24/7. See ya there!
Peace allll.............
Anyhow, I am going to go enjoy the cool breeze before the rains run me in and then....nap time. If this weather is good for nothing else, it makes for the best sleep.
Here's hoping for the best for the guys south of me. The ones that didn't evacuate and decided to stick it out down there. God bless you all and be safe. For the rest of them that decided to head this way....IHOP is open 24/7. See ya there!
Peace allll.............
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Hormonal Happenings
I don't know if it's actually hormones or not, but I have found myself becoming strangely irritable over small things the past couple of months...such as:
Why do men think it's funny to teach their small children revolting things? Like how to say 'fart' and how to belch as loudly as possible?
What is the deal with these ridiculous looking ear pieces that people are wearing all the time so they can talk on their cell phones ALL the time? They look like they have some sort of extra appendage growing out of their ears. Particularly annoying are the ones that flash in the rainbow array of colors. Can we say.....let's stop being so self-absorbed and insulated and join the real world for.....oh, I don't know....how about....a real CONVERSATION?
The LED belt buckles. I'm going to buy one of those and it's just going to scroll....QUIET!
Why do people, once they have made their point, keep making their point? Why do they babble on and on and on? At some point it goes from making your point to just whining. (see: LED belt buckle...QUIET!)
Why have people in the public service industry become so rude lately? I really don't want to have to see you any more than you want to see me but since we're both here, can't we make the best of it?
Why, for the hundredth time, does Grover set that alarm for 6 a.m. when he knows that he's going to hit the snooze 20 times and not get up until 7:30?
When did this world become so shallow?
Why is Angelina Jolie adopting a child from Ethiopia when there are so many kids here that need a good home? Oh, yeah......that 'make me feel good about me' thing she's got going. (sorry about that...yes, I do believe in 'saving the world'; however, I also believe that charity begins at home)
When did slang, ebonics, and colloquiliasms become accepted forms of public speech?
'Bootylicious' is in the dictionary now........and they wonder why Asia is so far ahead of us in education.
When did so many women and young girls decide to dump the enigma and mystery of womanhood and replace it with "i'll show you mine if you'll show me yours"?
What self-respecting woman exposes her breasts for a string of plastic beads?
Don't worry....I think that this episode of crankiness will be over in another oh, 20 or 30 years maybe.
Peace allllll..............
Why do men think it's funny to teach their small children revolting things? Like how to say 'fart' and how to belch as loudly as possible?
What is the deal with these ridiculous looking ear pieces that people are wearing all the time so they can talk on their cell phones ALL the time? They look like they have some sort of extra appendage growing out of their ears. Particularly annoying are the ones that flash in the rainbow array of colors. Can we say.....let's stop being so self-absorbed and insulated and join the real world for.....oh, I don't know....how about....a real CONVERSATION?
The LED belt buckles. I'm going to buy one of those and it's just going to scroll....QUIET!
Why do people, once they have made their point, keep making their point? Why do they babble on and on and on? At some point it goes from making your point to just whining. (see: LED belt buckle...QUIET!)
Why have people in the public service industry become so rude lately? I really don't want to have to see you any more than you want to see me but since we're both here, can't we make the best of it?
Why, for the hundredth time, does Grover set that alarm for 6 a.m. when he knows that he's going to hit the snooze 20 times and not get up until 7:30?
When did this world become so shallow?
Why is Angelina Jolie adopting a child from Ethiopia when there are so many kids here that need a good home? Oh, yeah......that 'make me feel good about me' thing she's got going. (sorry about that...yes, I do believe in 'saving the world'; however, I also believe that charity begins at home)
When did slang, ebonics, and colloquiliasms become accepted forms of public speech?
'Bootylicious' is in the dictionary now........and they wonder why Asia is so far ahead of us in education.
When did so many women and young girls decide to dump the enigma and mystery of womanhood and replace it with "i'll show you mine if you'll show me yours"?
What self-respecting woman exposes her breasts for a string of plastic beads?
Don't worry....I think that this episode of crankiness will be over in another oh, 20 or 30 years maybe.
Peace allllll..............
Monday, July 04, 2005
Sunday, July 03, 2005
Live8??...Coulda Had a V8 Instead
Well, well, well.......I have witheld comment or opinion on this whole Live8 thing until it was pretty much said and done. And this is what I think:
That simply had to be the most stunning display of elitist, arrogant, pompous back patting I have ever seen. Let's see.....major stars, major money to put this event on, massive cash for publicity, expensive gift baskets for the performers, etc., etc. And the whole purpose of this entire shindig was "to raise awareness." Not money for any charitable causes, but "awareness."
Wonder how many people died of AIDS while they were gladhanding and raising "awareness"?
Wonder how many kids died in Africa and in this country as well while entertainers were pawing through their luxury gift baskets? (And if you think that kids in this country don't die of starvation, think again. One in 500 kids goes to bed hungry every night....EVERY NIGHT....in this country.)
Wonder how many homeless people are still homeless after all this "awareness" was raised?
I don't think the problem is awareness here people.
I don't think the answer is a free concert to make people feel better about themselves for a minute because they are now "socially conscious".
I think that maybe a better thing would be to actually do some leg work . You know, if you happen to be one of those multi-millionaire entertainers, versus creating a charity with your name on it (now that's an ego stroke!) with a massive payroll, walk the street until you find someone who needs help, then do something crazy, like.....oh, I don't know....help them get an education, or a job or a meal or a blanket or something..... just something that doesn't require a lot of publicity or a luxury gift basket for you. You know..do something from the heart.
This works well for regular, non-celebrity people as well. Wanna raise AIDS awareness? Volunteer in a hospice, or work on the AIDS quilt (they always need volunteer seamstresses). Write your congressperson and request them to ask for money for research.
If you want to raise awareness concerning poverty or the homeless, get a group of people to go out in the streets and hand out blankets or sandwiches or something.....just something.
These are small things and they will certainly never solve the problem. However, in my opinion, it's a lot more productive than standing around listening to free music and simply being "aware" of what's happening.
Awareness - Action = APATHY
Something I hope these guys remember when they're flying first class to sleep on their silk sheets tonight.
Peace allll.........................
That simply had to be the most stunning display of elitist, arrogant, pompous back patting I have ever seen. Let's see.....major stars, major money to put this event on, massive cash for publicity, expensive gift baskets for the performers, etc., etc. And the whole purpose of this entire shindig was "to raise awareness." Not money for any charitable causes, but "awareness."
Wonder how many people died of AIDS while they were gladhanding and raising "awareness"?
Wonder how many kids died in Africa and in this country as well while entertainers were pawing through their luxury gift baskets? (And if you think that kids in this country don't die of starvation, think again. One in 500 kids goes to bed hungry every night....EVERY NIGHT....in this country.)
Wonder how many homeless people are still homeless after all this "awareness" was raised?
I don't think the problem is awareness here people.
I don't think the answer is a free concert to make people feel better about themselves for a minute because they are now "socially conscious".
I think that maybe a better thing would be to actually do some leg work . You know, if you happen to be one of those multi-millionaire entertainers, versus creating a charity with your name on it (now that's an ego stroke!) with a massive payroll, walk the street until you find someone who needs help, then do something crazy, like.....oh, I don't know....help them get an education, or a job or a meal or a blanket or something..... just something that doesn't require a lot of publicity or a luxury gift basket for you. You know..do something from the heart.
This works well for regular, non-celebrity people as well. Wanna raise AIDS awareness? Volunteer in a hospice, or work on the AIDS quilt (they always need volunteer seamstresses). Write your congressperson and request them to ask for money for research.
If you want to raise awareness concerning poverty or the homeless, get a group of people to go out in the streets and hand out blankets or sandwiches or something.....just something.
These are small things and they will certainly never solve the problem. However, in my opinion, it's a lot more productive than standing around listening to free music and simply being "aware" of what's happening.
Awareness - Action = APATHY
Something I hope these guys remember when they're flying first class to sleep on their silk sheets tonight.
Peace allll.........................
Saturday, July 02, 2005
Weighing In On This One
I am not, nor have I ever been a Tom Cruise fan. He is just a little too schmarmy for me. (Yep, I know he is heartbroken I feel this way. I imagine he is crying into his bankbook right now.) Up until this point I have been pretty much able to ignore him....because he hasn't really irritated me. Well, except for that whole schmarminess thing (sorry guys, cheesiness really gets my goat...goat cheese...get it? HAHAHA!...ehem....sorry).
But I was reluctantly drawn by this whole Brooke Shields/Tom Cruise rumble that's been goin' on lately. (They would be great in West Side Story in my opinion;)) And I must say one thing: Tom Cruise is an arrogant, ignorant piece of work who has evidently misconstrued fame for intelligence. Dollars do not equal brain cells Tom. (just in case you're reading this of course)
I wrote in a post a couple of weeks ago that although I do not like drugs being the sole source of treatment for any mental/emotional disorder, that they DO have their place. They certainly have their place in the treatment of post-partum depression. See, post-partum depression is primarily hormonal, the result of a woman's system trying to rebalance itself after being set in a certain fashion for ...oh.....9 MONTHS. Most women have some form of post-partum depression, ranging from the mildest of the 'baby blues' to full on psychotic episodes. Medication is a good thing for the latter. Hear that, Tom.....a GOOD thing.
And how any MAN could tell you how a WOMAN is supposed to feel after carrying a life inside her for 9 months and then expelling it from her body in pain and sweat is beyond me. The next time he gives birth maybe he will reconsider his opinion. But probably not.
My opinion is this (for what it's worth): if you have recently had a child and feel like you need help by all means GET IT. Please do not allow the opinions of this mighty mouse locked away in his 14 million dollar ivory tower sway you. If it keeps you from killing yourself or your child, then it was well worth it.
I have a lot more to say on this but for now I think I will just keep it short. Cuz I'm a girl and I'm afraid I'll get all emotional and stuff.
See, it's that kind of attitude that has kept women in the back seat for so many years. Good luck, Ms. Holmes...you're gonna need it.
Peace allllll.............
But I was reluctantly drawn by this whole Brooke Shields/Tom Cruise rumble that's been goin' on lately. (They would be great in West Side Story in my opinion;)) And I must say one thing: Tom Cruise is an arrogant, ignorant piece of work who has evidently misconstrued fame for intelligence. Dollars do not equal brain cells Tom. (just in case you're reading this of course)
I wrote in a post a couple of weeks ago that although I do not like drugs being the sole source of treatment for any mental/emotional disorder, that they DO have their place. They certainly have their place in the treatment of post-partum depression. See, post-partum depression is primarily hormonal, the result of a woman's system trying to rebalance itself after being set in a certain fashion for ...oh.....9 MONTHS. Most women have some form of post-partum depression, ranging from the mildest of the 'baby blues' to full on psychotic episodes. Medication is a good thing for the latter. Hear that, Tom.....a GOOD thing.
And how any MAN could tell you how a WOMAN is supposed to feel after carrying a life inside her for 9 months and then expelling it from her body in pain and sweat is beyond me. The next time he gives birth maybe he will reconsider his opinion. But probably not.
My opinion is this (for what it's worth): if you have recently had a child and feel like you need help by all means GET IT. Please do not allow the opinions of this mighty mouse locked away in his 14 million dollar ivory tower sway you. If it keeps you from killing yourself or your child, then it was well worth it.
I have a lot more to say on this but for now I think I will just keep it short. Cuz I'm a girl and I'm afraid I'll get all emotional and stuff.
See, it's that kind of attitude that has kept women in the back seat for so many years. Good luck, Ms. Holmes...you're gonna need it.
Peace allllll.............
Friday, July 01, 2005
Some Days
Some days I think I'm crazy
Some days I think I am a fool
Some days I wonder what the heck I am doing
Some days I think that I have gone too far
Some days I think that I will never go far enough
Some days I feel like a failure and a fraud
Some days I wish that people knew the real me
Some days I hope to Heaven that they don't
Some days I feel like I'm okay
Some days I feel like I never will be
Some days it just doesn't matter because whatever will be will be
Some days I rage against that fact
Some days I don't like to look in the mirror because I don't know that person
Some days I am just confused about this place, this life, this day
Today is one those days.
Here's to all of the people that have it together. Can you please give me the password so I can have it together too?
Peace allll........
Some days I think I am a fool
Some days I wonder what the heck I am doing
Some days I think that I have gone too far
Some days I think that I will never go far enough
Some days I feel like a failure and a fraud
Some days I wish that people knew the real me
Some days I hope to Heaven that they don't
Some days I feel like I'm okay
Some days I feel like I never will be
Some days it just doesn't matter because whatever will be will be
Some days I rage against that fact
Some days I don't like to look in the mirror because I don't know that person
Some days I am just confused about this place, this life, this day
Today is one those days.
Here's to all of the people that have it together. Can you please give me the password so I can have it together too?
Peace allll........
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