Monday, May 30, 2005

Here's Mine

Okay, okay.....I'm not a trend setter, alright? Here's my list courtesy of Trinity, OGO, Shane and Heather (this many people can't be wrong;)) The "X" of course means that I have done it.........here goes:

(X) Smoked a joint (YEARS AGO!)
( ) Been in a wet T-shirt contest
(X) Crashed a car
( ) Stolen a car
(X) Been in love
( ) Had a threesome (although I did think about it once during a verrrry long night of quarters..once again,
years ago!)
(X) Been dumped
(X) Shopifted (I was like 8)
(X) Been fired
(X) Been in a fistfight
( ) Snuck out of the house (what? with my mom at the guard!?)
(X) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
(X) Been arressted
( ) Made out with a stranger
(X) Gone on a blind date
(X) Lied to a friend (not one that I am proud of)
(X) Had a crush on a teacher (Mr. Booker 7th grade science!)
( ) Been to Europe
( ) Skipped school
(X) Seen someone die
( ) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
( ) Been on a plane (fear of heights ya know)
(X) Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show (only about 100 times)
( ) Thrown up in a bar (doesn't throwing up in the car on the way home count?)
( ) Purposfully set a part of yourself on fire
( ) Eaten sushi....yuck!
( ) Snowboarding
(X) Met someone from the internet in person.....his name is GROVER!!!
(X) Been moshing at a concert
(X) Been in an abusive relationship
(X) Taken painkillers (only for pain in the hospital...never for sport;))
(X) Love someone or miss someone right now
(X) Laid and watched cloud shapes go by
(X) Made a snow angel
(X) Had a tea party
(X) Flown a kite
(X) Built a sandcastle
(X) Gone puddle jumping
(X) Played dress up (does the Catwoman outfit count?)
(X) Jumped in a pile of leaves
(X) gone sledding
( ) Cheated while playing a game
(X) Fallen asleep at work/school
( ) Used a fake ID
(X) Watched the sun set
( ) Felt an earthquake
(X) Touched a snake
(X) Slept beneath the stars.....yeah....EVERY night...I just can't always see them through the roof
(X) Been tickled
(X) Been robbed
(X) Been misunderstood
(X) Pet a reindeer/goat
(X) Won a contest
(X) Run a red light.....not on purpose...my brakes failed
( ) Been suspended from school
(X) Been in a car wreck
( ) Had braces
(X) Felt like an outcast
(X) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night (Ummm...can we say one HOUR?)
(X) Had deja vu
(X) Danced in the moonlight
(X) Hated the way you look
(X) Witnessed a crime
( ) Pole danced
(X) Been obsessed with Post-its
(X) Walked barefoot through the mud
(X) Been lost
( ) Been to the opposite side of the world
(X) Swam in the ocean
(X) Felt like dying
(X) Cried yourself to sleep
(X) Played cops and robbers
(X) Recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
( ) Sung karoake
(X) Paid for a meal with coins
(X) Done something you told yourself that you wouldn't
(X) Made prank phone calls when you were younger.....all the time
(X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
( ) Danced naked in the rain
(X) Written a letter to Santa
(X) Been kissed under the mistletoe
(X) Watched sunrise with someone you love
(X) Blown bubbles (just last week)
(X) Had a bonfire on the beach
(X) Crashed a party
( ) Gone rollerblading
(X) had a wish come true
(X) Worn pearls
( ) Jumped off a bridge
( ) Screamed the word penis in public (But I have screamed some other choice ones in the past;))
(X) Ate dog/cat food
(X) Told a complete stranger you loved them (I was absolutely schnockered at the time many moons ago)
(X) Kissed a mirror (had to learn on someone!)
(X) Sang in the shower
( ) Owned a little black dress
(X) Had a dram that you married someone
(X) Glued your hand to something
( ) Had your tongue stuck to a flagpole
(X) Kissed a fish (that's Jakob's nickname;))
(X) Worn the opposite sex's clothes....(I'm wearing Grover's underwear right now as a matter of fact...I'm
JOKING
(X) Been a cheerleader
(X) Sat on a rooftop
(X) Screamed at the top of your lungs
(X) Done a one handed cartwheel (yeah, when I was like 6)
(X) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours (my record is 14)
(X) Stayed up all night
( ) Didn't take a shower for a week
(X) Picked an apple and ate it right off the tree
(X) Climbed a tree
( ) Had a tree house
(X) Are (NOT) scared to watch scary movies
( ) believe in ghosts
( ) Have more than 30 pairs of shoes
(X) Worn a really ugly outfit to school to see what other people would say (camoflauge dress, burlap dress
and my famous garbage bag dress)
( ) Gone streaking
( ) Played chicken
( ) Been pushed into a pool/lake with all your clothes on
( ) Broken a bone
( ) Been easily amused
(X) Caught a fish then ate it
(X) Caught a butterfly
(X) Laughed so hard you cried
(X) Cried so hard you laughed
(X) Mooned/flashed someone
( ) Cheated on a test
(X) Forgotten someone's name
( ) Slept naked
( ) French braided someone's hair
( ) Grown a beard.....on my LEGS!
( ) belonged to the KKK

And ......looking back over this......yep, I'm pretty much as boring as I thought!:)

Peace alllllll.........

P.S. Speaking of prank phone calls ....here's my favorite:

Hello?
Is Mr. Wall there?
No.
Is Mrs. Wall there?
No.
Are there any walls there at all?
No.
Then what the heck is holding your house up??

(I think the last time I used this was when I was like 30....so if you were the one I talked to I am truly sorry....but it was funny at the time;))

Thursday, May 26, 2005

This One's for the Boys

Many people who have read my blog (and there are soooo many;)) may have come to the conclusion that I have a lot of issues with men. I really don't. I just have to have something to complain about and they are like a rich field of tomatoes just ready for the picking.

However, I do feel that guys get a bad rap a lot of the time. If you look at the mainstream media, you would think that most men wouldn't remember to breathe if they didn't have a woman around to remind them.

Case in point: television sitcoms. If you'll notice, most of them have the husband/father around as window dressing... scenery.....just there for looks and not really anything else. They will portray the wife/mother as the emotional/spiritual/mental backbone of the family while the guy just walks around looking confused most of the time, while all the while being cuckolded by his superwoman/shrew of a wife. Is this really a reflection of our society as a whole? I don't think so.

If you watch the news, you would think that men are responsible for the decline of values in our society. Not true. It is shared equally. I know a lot of men who are smart, talented and responsible and yet they are not given nearly enough credit. Yet, when something goes wrong, who gets the blame most of the time? Sorry guys.

Yes, there are some sorry men out there.....no good, irresponsible, lazy, abusive, cheating and a waste of time. Equally, there are just as many women out there with the same traits. However, you just don't hear about them too often do ya? There are a lot of single mothers out there.....there are also a lot of single fathers as well, raising their kids alone, working the two jobs, cooking, cleaning, etc. You just don't really hear about them do you? And when you do, most people's response is "So, he's just doing something women have been doing for a long time." When can a fella catch a break? When can he get credit for doing something right?

I mean, they put up with us most of the time. And, ladies, don't fool yourselves. We are not easy to put up with no matter how we might try to pretend that we are. To most men, we are at times a combination of a pit bull/killer rabbit mutation that they have no hope of figuring out.

And so, if you have a good man, or know a good man (and chances are that you do...somewhere), take a moment and let them know that they are doing as good a job as they can with what they have. As for the rest of 'em.....stay away....far away from them.

Now, I'm going to go turn Grover over in his sleep and remind him to breathe before he suffocates.;)

Peace allllll................

Random Bull

Well, they've got Kool-Aid in shorts now. Wonder just how many teen pregnancies this will prevent?

I love my husband but for the past couple of days he has been a real grouch. He has had the same cold that the rest of the house has had but of course for him it's a lot worse. Why? Because he's a guy of course! Hopefully, he'll feel better today because if he doesn't I may have to stab him in the forehead.

My children have been up since 4 this morning. We have enjoyed a beautiful sunrise together. Now, if only they would go back to bed! (Not gonna happen)

I will be back later with a real post.

Peace allll..........

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Breasts, Booblies, Tatas and More!

I don't get it. Call me stupid......call me obtuse.....okay, are we done with name calling yet? What is so fascinating about breasts? Yeah, they are kind of in your face, but what is the big deal? There are so many other aspects to a woman which are so much more becoming. What about......

the eyes.....the windows to the soul, capable of expressing everything from soul-wrenching grief to all-encompassing love without saying a word

the hands...which can wield a weapon of war, comfort a heartbroken child, and caress a lover's face with unmatched grace and elegance

the brain.....capable of producing ideas which can vex, confound, irritate, entertain, enlighten and educate

the personality....running the gamut from shy bookworm to flirtatious vixen

the arms....which alternately embrace, resist, restrain and within the circle of which can be found the most comfort you have had since you were a child

the shoulders...which at times seem capable of carrying the weight of the world

the knees.....which are resilient enough to keep getting us back up every time we get knocked down on them

the feet....which cover all the ground they stand on, immovable, unshakeable, capable of walking with you anywhere your life may take you.

All of these inexplicably wonderful aspects of women....and they and their rightful place in the minds of a lot of men have been replaced by.......humongous bazookas....titillating tatas....randy jubblies.....knockers....hooters.....you get the point.

Maybe I'm a little thick.....but I still don't get it.

And I don't think I ever will....which may be a good thing.

Peace alllll.................

Friday, May 20, 2005

Speak! (If You Want To)

I am rabidly anti-censorship. Freedom of speech means a lot to me and although I may not like what you say, I must wholeheartedly defend your right to say it. Without the ability to freely express our ideas, we would soon find ourselves becoming mere apathetic government controlled clones. (Sort of like an adult version of "Village of the Damned.")

Having said that, I must also say that along with any freedom, any right, comes a responsibility to use that freedom wisely and to appreciate it always. Just because you CAN say something doesn't mean that you SHOULD. Self-control and common sense are always applicable.

There are three words that I do not allow in my home: fat, ugly, and stupid. My kids are not allowed to call anyone any of those three words because:

1. If you are fat, then you already know that. You don't need someone to remind you just in case you forgot. Fat is also a very subjective word.

2. No one is ugly. People can act ugly, but I am in reference to physical features. What may be unattractive to you is certainly not to someone else. Once again, subjectivity at work.

3. Stupid....well, if someone is actually stupid, they are just going to be too "stupid" to realize that you are talking about them aren't they? And so you have wasted your breath, which wasn't too intelligent on your part was it??

The other reason I do not allow those words in my home is that I am attempting to teach my children empathy and compassion and that words can sometimes hurt. I am not trying to censor them but I am teaching them to consider others before themselves. I think that the art of consideration is becoming lost in our ever expanding world of rights and freedoms. And I consider it a great privilege to give thought to others, to consider how the power of my words may affect their day, and then proceed accordingly.

I have the freedom to say what I will but I would rather be remembered one day as a peacemaker, not a hatemonger.

I have the freedom to say what I will but I would rather be remembered one day for my kind words, not as an acid tongued troll.

Say what you want, but remember, you are responsible for what you say.

And, like my mom used to always say, sometimes it's best just to shut up.

So I think I'll shut up now.

Peace alllll.............

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

I Can't Get No Satisfaction

Why can't people ever be satisfied with what they have, particularly in the area of relationships?

I have a friend, a young lady who just turned 23. She has had 4 boyfriends in the past year. With each and every one of them, there was some sort of problem.

Boyfriend #1 was pretty much no good. A pillhead, pothead, a "you name it and he's it" head. No real job, no real prospects..pretty much a slug. But the sex was the best she had ever had.

Boyfriend #2....the sex wasn't the best (see boyfriend #1) but he had a very good job doing some sort of construction type thing. Problem there? She didn't get to spend enough time with him because his job had him traveling a lot and he lived at home with his mother.

Boyfriend #3 was also boyfriend #1. Don't ask me, I guess she missed the sex.

Boyfriend #4 is the current boyfriend. Now, he doesn't do drugs, he has a steady job that requires no traveling and he loooooves to spend time with her. Problem? He likes spending too MUCH time with her and he talks too much.

My point is this....no one is perfect except God. And ain't none of us Him. I can understand not wanting to be with a dopehead, but the other stuff? Come on, what's gonna make you happy? You wanna spend time with them or you don't, you wanna talk to them or you don't, you wanna have all the sex or you don't. Make up your mind!!!

The sad part about all of this to me is that she really is a nice girl.....just evidently a very confused one. And I have advised her between each and every one of these relationships that maybe she needs to just spend some time alone, figuring her own self out before she jumps into a relationship and starts trying to figure someone else out. Boyfriends are not lapdogs.....they are not gonna jump and down everytime you snap your fingers. (OH, but wouldn't I love it if that worked on HUSBANDS!!;))

The same concept of satisfaction goes for jobs, homes, neighborhoods, and just about anything else. If you are not satisfied with what you have now, are you reallllly going to be satisfied if you change it? Or is the problem with you and you are just trying to shift it to a different location.

"Most people are as happy as they make up their minds to be." Abraham Lincoln

Pretty simple stuff......now I have to go color my hair. Because grey just doesn't satisfy me ;)

Peace alllll.............

Friday, May 13, 2005

Disruptions & Distractions

I am a creature of habit....I admit it. Big changes I can deal with readily......move me to another state, change my job, put me in a different neighborhood....hey, no problem. But move my toothbrush from its appointed location and you will feel the wrath of a woman gone mad. (And we are not going to talk about the people in my house who put the bowls in the wrong cabinet....Grover!)

Anyhow, my need for continuity has come back to bite me in the backcheeks this week. They are remodeling the restaurant where I work. It should take about a week. They are not closing for 1st and 2nd shift but they will close for that week at 10 p.m. so all the graveyard people will have the week off. Okay fine. But they are doing some of the work now during graveyard while we are still open. Not so good. See, last night they had to close the entire smoking section for third shift. Let's see why this is important: drunk people (coming from the clubs) + pancakes - cigarettes = the dumbest idea I have ever heard of. Do you know how hard it is to explain to drunk people that they cannot smoke in a place they normally can. Major headache...many drunks left...along with my potential tip money. Add to that these jerk contractors in there with power tools and cords and crap thrown EVERYWHERE and fumes from whatever kind of sealant they were using and you get the whole very ugly picture. Threw my whole night off (I know, poor me;)).

And they will be continuing this whole sordid affair tonight....on a weekend....another college graduation weekend. This oughta be fun.....no really..... lots and lots of fun. Oh, well, woe is me....all for tomorrow, nothing for today.

(Not to mention the fact that I can't find my lucky socks;))

Peace alllll..............

Thursday, May 12, 2005

For Adrianne

Little one, little one,
Where have you gone?
Your going has darkened
The brightest dawn.
Why did you leave us
So soon, so soon?
Where can we look for you?
Over the moon?
On butterflies' wings?
In the heart of a rose?
Who knows, who knows
Where a little one goes?

Where have I gone,
I am not so small.
My soul is as wide
As the world is tall.

Wherever you look,
You will find me there-
In the heart of a rose,
In the heart of a prayer.
On butterflies' wings,
On wings of my own,
To you I'm gone,
But I'm never alone-
I'm over the moon.
I am home.

Author Unknown

If this only helps for 2 seconds, I have done something worthwhile.

Peace allll..............

Monday, May 09, 2005

Weekends

Weekends....oh, how I love them so. The insanity at work, the sleep deprivation, the house going to ruin.....the stuff of my dreams.

This weekend was Oakwood College graduation. And since we are the premiere restaurant for college students (my, they do love their pancakes and chicken wings), we got stomped through the floor all weekend. However, that means more money for me..always a good thing...and all in all it was one of the most pleasant weekends I have ever had at work. (It's amazing how well most people behave when they're out in public with their mothers;)) Except for the one lady (and I use the term verrrry loosely) who ordered the Skillet......ma'am, you need help.... and perhaps a healthy dose of therapy as well. But, nonetheless, one jerk customer in 3 days....I can live with that (plus, she filled out a comment card with her name, address and phone number...now how dumb is that? **insert evil laughter here**)

But today is my off day a.k.a. my real weekend. And so, I shall rise like a phoenix from the ashes and....clean the house, do laundry, wash the car, bathe the kids, cook dinner and make myself look absolutely stunning for my husband when he gets home (where ARE those June Cleaver heels I have??). Man, I can't wait to get back to work so I can get some rest.

Peace allll.....

p.s. Sorry for all the parentheses in this post (I was just feeling parenthetical I guess)

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Moms!

To all:
Mothers......
Those who have mothers,
Those who want to be mothers,
Those who have been mothers,
Single dads who are both dads and moms
Foster moms
And for all of you who act like my momma even though you're not;)

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!!

Hope it's wonderful for all of ya!

Peace allll...........

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Old Folks

I work with a lot of younger people. By younger, I mean in the 18-25 age group. One of the most common themes amongst these younger people is their fear/dislike of what they consider "old" people. This kind of irritates me and kind of confuses me as well.

At what point are you considered "old"? Is it 55, 65, 80, 120? Or is it 40? And why do young people consider being "old" to be such a bad thing? Most of the younger people I know express at the least irritation and at the most downright dislike of older people. Why is this? I have heard the following reasons:

"They are slow.".......Ummmm, well, yeah. If you drive the same car for 65 years, it's not going to be in showroom condition, I don't care how well you maintain it.

"They are rude." Sure they are....sometimes. Who isn't? What makes it better for younger people to be rude but not older people.

"They are dull." On this one I emphatically disagree. If you sit and ask an older person to tell you some of their life stories, you will not be disappointed. Just listen sometimes.

"They are cheap." It's called a fixed income.

Seems like some people would just prefer if we didn't have older people around. Well, what would you suggest? Public hangings at 100? Or 65? Or 40? Because many would use the argument that they have outlived their "usefulness". Well, if that's the case, I know a whole lotta 18 year olds that need to be put out to pasture with them.

And if you are one of those people that just "doesn't like older people", remember this: they would be the same people in 20 year old bodies as they are in 80 year old ones. And if you wait long enough, and you're lucky, one day you'll be one of them too.

Peace alll......

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Regret

I was talking to my best friend earlier today. She has several major health problems and the doctor(s) has told her that the worst case scenario will be that she lives maybe 5 more years. God willing she will live 20. However, the point of our conversation today was regret. Regret for things that you have and have not done with your life. She does not feel that she has done all with her life that she could. And that 5 more years will not be enough. I understand where she is coming from.

Although I am in fairly good health and hope to live for at least 100 more years, I am afraid that, at the end of my days, no matter how much good I may have done, that the regrets will outweigh all of that. Because for the first 37 years I have a pretty good list going already.

I regret not telling those who have passed on how much I loved them before they left.

I regret all the times that I may have hurt someone's feelings with an offhand comment that may have meant nothing to me at the time but which they remember years later.

I regret not having much of a relationship with my sister.

I regret taking any day for granted.

I regret taking anyone for granted.

I know that you are not supposed to live your life bogged down in shoulda coulda wouldas but every once in a while you have to at least acknowledge their existence. To do otherwise would be to live in complete denial.

I just hope that I have enough to time to make up for the shoulda coulda wouldas and one day consider them done.

Peace allll.................

Monday, May 02, 2005

Random Kvetching

I have really gotten to the point that I hate watching the news, local or otherwise. The reason for this is there is just too much going on on the screen. In the center of the screen, there is the newscaster. On the bottom of the screen, there are the crawlers, with late breaking news on the chicken that crossed the road in Podunk, Mississippi and rumors that Colonel Sanders wasn't really a colonel. In the upper right hand corner are the weather forecasts, mainly for cities that I have never even heard of and will probably never visit, unless I am lost in the backwoods of Atlantis. In the upper left hand corner are the latest stock quotes, like people can't find them in the newspaper. Below the crawlers are the station identification logos and banners for whatever show may be coming on next on that channel or 50 others. There is just too much for the eyes to focus on and even if I had multiple personalities, none of them could keep up;) I truly yearn for yesteryear, when you had 4 channels at the most and all of them went off of the air shortly after midnight after they played 'The Star Spangled Banner.' And once every six months the president would come on all 4 of them, and he would always finish just in time for you to catch the last 7 minutes 6 seconds of your favorite program. Anyhow, my point is...all of this is just food for the instant gratification bug. No wonder people are in such a hurry...they're not used to waiting for anything anymore. They want it all and they want it now and they think they should be the first to get it.

Another kvetch...why do so many young women (18-25) that I know think that if they are not in a relationship of some sort that life is just not worth living? They will break up with one guy this week and in less than seven days they are dating/sleeping with/living with and in love with another one. Ummmm......girls, have you ever heard of just being with yourself for awhile? Or maybe...oh, I don't know....taking it a liiiitle more slowly this time? Everybody's in a hurry and for what? To do what? To get where?

So many people want to fill their lives with busyness. Gotta go here, gotta do this, gotta do that. Just sit down for a minute! You've got business meetings, and soccer games and play dates and vacations to get out of the way so you can get back into the rat race all over again. I'm not gonna say 'stop and smell the roses' (that's little overdone for me) but at least stop for a second....every once in a while. Life won't pass you by any mroe quickly than it is right now.

Peace allll.............