Why can't people ever be satisfied with what they have, particularly in the area of relationships?
I have a friend, a young lady who just turned 23. She has had 4 boyfriends in the past year. With each and every one of them, there was some sort of problem.
Boyfriend #1 was pretty much no good. A pillhead, pothead, a "you name it and he's it" head. No real job, no real prospects..pretty much a slug. But the sex was the best she had ever had.
Boyfriend #2....the sex wasn't the best (see boyfriend #1) but he had a very good job doing some sort of construction type thing. Problem there? She didn't get to spend enough time with him because his job had him traveling a lot and he lived at home with his mother.
Boyfriend #3 was also boyfriend #1. Don't ask me, I guess she missed the sex.
Boyfriend #4 is the current boyfriend. Now, he doesn't do drugs, he has a steady job that requires no traveling and he loooooves to spend time with her. Problem? He likes spending too MUCH time with her and he talks too much.
My point is this....no one is perfect except God. And ain't none of us Him. I can understand not wanting to be with a dopehead, but the other stuff? Come on, what's gonna make you happy? You wanna spend time with them or you don't, you wanna talk to them or you don't, you wanna have all the sex or you don't. Make up your mind!!!
The sad part about all of this to me is that she really is a nice girl.....just evidently a very confused one. And I have advised her between each and every one of these relationships that maybe she needs to just spend some time alone, figuring her own self out before she jumps into a relationship and starts trying to figure someone else out. Boyfriends are not lapdogs.....they are not gonna jump and down everytime you snap your fingers. (OH, but wouldn't I love it if that worked on HUSBANDS!!;))
The same concept of satisfaction goes for jobs, homes, neighborhoods, and just about anything else. If you are not satisfied with what you have now, are you reallllly going to be satisfied if you change it? Or is the problem with you and you are just trying to shift it to a different location.
"Most people are as happy as they make up their minds to be." Abraham Lincoln
Pretty simple stuff......now I have to go color my hair. Because grey just doesn't satisfy me ;)
Peace alllll.............
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5 comments:
You are soo right. I have family members who just never seemed satisfied with what they have. I don't know who they are trying to impress but it isn't doing anything for me. I would prefer that they just be happy in their own skin and quit trying to impress us.
I agree that she should just "be" for awhile. I found my husband of nearly 11 years when I wasn't looking.
I have a slightly different outlook on satisfaction. If you and I never reached satisfaction with our careers, self-improvement, home improvements, etc., then we might as well take the big nap.
There's an old saying in the Corps that goes like this: A bitching Marine is a happy Marine. Truer words have never been spoken. People complain about their grey hairs or their boyfriends because that's our nature. When people ask me, "Shane, what do you do?" I reply, "I bitch and moan. You?" Ha! Ahhhhhh ..... anyway ..... what was the question again?
There has to be at least one flaw in everyone. If your boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse was close to being perfect and you couldn't find anything wrong with him/her, wouldn't that be a boring relationship? There has to be something to pick on or argue and fight about. Make-up sex is great, and a perfect relationship would never experience that animalistic joy.
That's probably not a good example, is it? Ah, well. I never claimed to be Dr. Laura.
I'm sure Bones could name off several of my little 'quirks'. The thing I have never really liked about him was his redneck-ness. He's no country bumpkin ten-gallon hat wearin' cowboy who worships Garth Brooks or anything. But he talks like one, won't drive anything but a truck, owns a shotgun, has a tookbox mounted in his truck-bed, sometimes wears a ballcap at the dinner table, and he likes for me to cook funky things like beans-n-ham hocks, collard greens, fried 'taters', etc. - All that nasty country-boy crap.
He does appreciate the finer 'citified' things about me, like the wine, elaborate "fixin's" as he calls them, etc. Over the last five and a half years he has picked up on some of my 'citified' characteristics, not because I asked him to change, but because my habits and mannerisms just rubbed off on him I guess. He likes a good glass of wine every now and then, and before I cam along he thought Boone's Farm was real wine. (His mother still thinks Boone's Farm is real wine no matter how many bottles of the real stuff I bring to family gatherings.)
So, if your friend would be patient long enough to see that in a relationship the qualities and charateristics of both people sort of start to blend together. It's like you create your own mannerisms together that only you two share. At least that's what I've noticed with Bones and me.
Sorry for a long comment. I hope I explained myself well enough to understand. You know what I'm trying to say, right?
Exactly!
Whew!
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