Just Gettin' It Out of My System

You know, I try to be a mellow person...I really do. However, somedays it seems as if forces are aligned against me. Some days it seems as if all of my secret irritations become public and I just have to say something. Here are a few things that irritate me:

1. Cell phones......pretty much everything about them.....the fact that so many people attempt to multi-task while they are on them: driving, walking, eating, paying for their groceries, etc.; the obnoxious ringtones that so many people seem to be so fond of: you know the ones that are supposed to sound like a particular song but they never really do...they just sound like Muzak on hallucinogenics; and the fact that so many phones are now capable of taking pictures and videos. I was in Wal-Mart the other night and there was this really annoying, rude woman in front of me. So rude in fact that I didn't bother to tell her that her shirt had ridden waaaaay up above her low-rider jeans in the back (and NO, I wasn't ready for that jelly;)) and her rolls were hanging all over the place. So the woman behind me was also irritated by this annoying, rude woman and asked me to please scoot over by about an inch. I did and then realized that the woman behind me was taking a video with her phone of the woman in front of me. She then proceeded to tell me that she was going to go home and put this woman's backside all over the internet. I didn't know which one to be more afraid of....the woman in front of me or the one behind me. You gotta love technology right?

2. Check writers.....you know the name of the store, you know the date, you know that you are going to write a check. Could you please at least fill out the above-mentioned information BEFORE your items are totalled up???? PLEASE! But nooooo, you have to get all the way through the line...then dig through that land of the lost purse of yours (with Life-Savers from 1979 and who knows what else) to find your check book and a pen THAT WRITES. Then you proceed to fill out allll of the information as slowly as possible. And of course you don't have your I.D. ready. You wait until they ask you for it and then proceed to dig it out of that LaBrea tar pit purse. And then you have to audacity to turn around and look at the 20 or so people that have gathered in line behind you and get the 'what?' expression. You know, like "what did I do?"

3. Noisy eaters....the people who can make noise with pudding. I don't need to hear every crunch of your potato chips, I don't need to hear every slurp of your drink, I don't need to hear every crack and pop of your gum. Please close your mouth when you are chewing because I don't need to see all of that. And please, for the love of everyone's ear drums around you, PLEASE stop scraping your utensils against your teeth!!! That is why God gave us lips...so we wouldn't have to use our teeth as a mouth stopper.

4. Men who will not pull their pants up. Heavy or thin.......that's just disgusting. Crack kills and I don't want to see what kind of underwear you have on.

5. Women you are about 50 pounds overweight who try to squeeze into tube tops or baby t's. Look, I know you should love yourself no matter what your size and I'm glad that you do. But some things need to be kept under wraps. Cover that mess up!

6. People who say they are going to call and then never do. Or else they wait forever to get back in touch with you and by that time you're off doing something else and then the next time you see them they tell you that "Oh, I tried and tried calling you but no one ever answered." No you didn't. You just thought that I wasn't home and you're trying not to look like a jerk.

7. Late people/procrastinators....people who never, ever, ever show up on time for anything. (Read this one closely GROVER!) People who never start anything when they are supposed to and consequently are always late and have everyone else around them late as well. Showing up late for something is insulting. I don't care what fashion dictates, there is no such thing as being fashionably late. Sure, every once in a while you can't help it. But when it becomes chronic, well, that's when I'd just like to shoot 'em in the foot.

And now that I have said what I need to say, I will now return you to your mellow versionof me! Have a nice day:-)!

Peace alllll...........