Just A Couple More

Just a couple more hours in the day is all I need. Just a couple. Just enough to maybe get some real sleep instead of these 2 hour naps I've been surviving on for almost 3 years now.

Just enough to maybe see my husband more than a few minutes a day. Enough to maybe sit and talk face to face versus playing phone tag all the time. Would be nice.

Just a couple more hours to make sure that I could get all the cooking and the cleaning and the bathing and the fussing about how much cooking and cleaning and bathing I have to do out of the way. Maybe just a minute to relax before I'm off to the next task. Shame when you look at sleep as a task, not as a pleasure. Because there is no 'sleeping in', there is no oversleeping, there is no snooze button in my day. And therefore, the pleasure in sleeping, the laziness and the stretching, the occasional scratching even;), is gone. Just, BAM.....get up. You have things to do. They need to be done now and you're still behind from all of the crap that you didn't get done yesterday.

Just a couple....not much. Just a couple of minutes to think. Just a couple of seconds to maybe catch my breath. Just a second, not even a couple, to regroup, reflect, focus and center myself.

Somedays I just want to go on strike. Here, YOU do it....I'm taking a nap. But then, I wouldn't be able to sleep because I know that one of two things would happen while I was snoozing.....1. It wouldn't get done or 2. It would be done wrong. ( Am I a control freak? No, not at all. Am I a perfectionist? Well, maybe sometimes. But that's beside the point.)

I am not the type of person who just burns out. I go down in flames. I feel it coming. I called out of work last night hoping to prevent it. Just trying to get that couple of extra hours. Never got 'em though. Ended up doing laundry instead;). For some reason that is insanely, albeit pathetically, funny to me.

Grover better get some water quick. Or I may be completely flamed out before he even notices I'm fuming. (Oh, please.....I even made myself gag with that one;))

I just don't want life to pass me by before I get the couple of minutes I need to notice it.

Peace alllll...........