Friday, February 25, 2005

Stupid People

People are stupid. Not you guys...you know.....those other people. You can recognize a stupid person easily. They are the ones who do things like:

Walking up to an elevator where the up or down button is already lit and pushing it anyway, as if their fingertip is going to rush things up.

When they pick up the phone and find that there is no dial tone, they will pull the phone away from their ear and glare at it like IT was the one that did something wrong.

They will walk up to the entrance of a store and, seeing on the hours of operation placard that it is closed, will try to open the door anyway. If door does not open, they will rattle it a couple of times just to make sure. Then the reallllyyy dumb ones will wait until someone comes to the door and then ask "Are you closed??".

They will flick a light switch and if the light is blown and doesn't come on, they will proceed to flick the switch up and down 5 or 6 times.

They are the ones who stare at the green light and don't move.

They will have hot food in front of them and versus waiting for it to cool off for a minute, or even blowing on it to cool it off, they will immediately take a big ole bite and proceed to suck air in and out like a fish out of water. They will then say "Ooooh, this is hot!!" like it wasn't supposed to be.

They will push the button on the remote to change channels and if the batteries are dead in the remote they will push even harder.

And, looking over this list, I have decided that, yeah, I'm kind of stupid myself because I have actually done more than one of these.;)

Peace allllll...............

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Fifi The Waffle Cat

I have a cat. His name is Fifi (don't ask how he got that name). Fifi is one of the most annoying creatures that God has put on this earth and I believe some days that he is God's way of teaching me patience. Either that or God really does have a sense of humor. Example:

My one year old son was eating a waffle. You know, one of those toaster thingie waffles (Heaven forbid mom would actually COOK one of those things in a real.....whatchamacallit.....waffle cooker thing...oh, yeah, iron...that's it.) So, he's walking around the house chewing on his waffle and minding his business. (Yes, I KNOW I should have kept him at the table but at least I fed him, never mind the etiquette portion of our program;))

The next thing I know, the cat comes racing through the living room and leaps OVER the child's head, at the same time reaching down with one paw and yanking the waffle out of the Jakob's hand, and takes off to parts unknown. Now this all happened in a matter of a millisecond but while viewing this in the moment, it seemed to be happening in slow motion, like one of those cheesy action scenes in the movies. (Think Six Million Dollar Man...if you're old enough to remember him.)

So, the cat is off with the waffle and my child is standing there trying to figure out what the heck just happened to his food. He looks up, and down, and around and sees nothing. Then he spies the cat with his waffle and proceeds to take it back. Well, since I don't want my baby eating something with cat spit on it, I won't let him have it. So he bites the cat and is satisfied with that. So I now cook the cat a waffle when I cook the boys one. Saves a lot of time and trouble, not to mention potential stitches for the cat.;)

Fifi has also been known to pee in the boys' potty seat, which is kind of sad when you stop and think that the cat is probably better potty trained than the kids.

When you are brushing your teeth, the cat will jump up on the back of the sink and stare at you.

Fifi will wake you up by standing on you and staring at you while licking his chops. Don't know if I should worry about this one just yet.

As I have said, Fifi is one annoying cat. I would get him the heck out of my house except for one redeeming quality that he has: when the boys go to sleep at night, he will get under the blankets, lie down between the both of them and go to sleep with them. And when I go to check on them, he will look at me like "I've got this. Go to bed. I'll wake you up when I want another waffle."

Peace alllllll..............

Friday, February 18, 2005

Joy

I sometimes think that children are a panacea to all of life's ills. As loud, messy and sticky as they often are, they are so involved with the wonders of the world around them and so open with their joy over little things that it makes you wish life were always so simple.

Grover and I took the kids with us to the memorial service last night. They were wonderfully well behaved (will miracles never cease?;)), with one exception. My one year old bit the top off of the carnation I was holding. I put it up to his nose so he could smell it (yeah, I know, not very smart) and he proceeded to just bite the entire head off of the flower. Fortunately, I managed to retrieve it before he swallowed. One of the volunteers working there offered me another but I think that one flower a day is enough roughage for anyone, so I declined.

So I am sitting here with a one year old in my lap and a stem in one hand and a flower head in the other and he looks at me with the most wonderful smile, like "See, it's not so bad." And I found myself laughing and crying at the same time. And then he kissed me on my face. For those of you who have never had a child just up and kiss you because they want to, let me tell ya, it is a moment of heaven. For those of you who have, you know what I'm talking about.

I wish that people could maintain that simple joy that kids have. Here I am looking for my purpose in life, my destiny and wondering what legacy I will one day leave behind and my kids get excited, truly excited, over a piece of cheese... or a big dog.....or a blue truck going down the street....or wind in their face.

I think that God put kids here so we will never forget what true love is. Pure, simple, unfettered joy in living, in just being here. And like Miss Celie said, "I may be poor. I may be stupid. I may even be ugly. But, dear God, I'm here." And that is good enough for me.

Peace allllll.................

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Memorial

Tomorrow I will be attending a memorial service for three good kids. Their names are Shaneika, Latricia and Christopher Ward. They were 11, 9 and 8. They were friends of Joshua's. They were honor roll students. Their bodies were found February 4th in their apartment, fully dressed, each in their own bedrooms lying on the floor. Cause of death: starvation and dehydration. They had been dead for at least a week. They were murdered by their own mother.

I don't know what to do. I don't know how to help Joshua through this, or myself. We are both major compartmentalizers and sharing grief openly is something neither one of us is very good at. But this hurts deeply. It hurts Josh because these were friends of his and this kind of thing should not happen to kids (even though we as adults know that it does). He doesn't understand how someones momma could do this to her children and I don't either.

This was not a momentary lapse of reason on the mother's part. This was something that was thought out and carried through. This took more than a moment; this took time. Time that she could have stopped it, time that she could have changed the course of her actions. And she did not. This was not mental defect. This was evil, pure and simple.

If the pressure was too much, why didn't she give her kids up? I mean, it's not like she was worried about people thinking poorly of her.

As a mother, I could not possibly begin to think of doing something like that to anyone's children, much less my own. I just cannot understand the reasoning behind this.

And so, I have to try to make a child see some sort of reason or hope behind this, when I don't see any myself. Wish me luck.

I'm gonna go hug my kids now.

Peace alllllll.............

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

V.D. A Day Late

Well, it's the day after Valentine's Day and Grover I must thank you for cleaning the house yesterday. (Yes, as you get older your ideas of romance change;))

I particularly enjoyed running to Walgreens last night for some cough medicine for Joshua and watching the last minute men in there desperately plowing through boxes of candy, stuffed animals and fake flowers. It looked like a war zone, each man in there with a look on his face that was a mixture of determination and desperation. All that work, not to mention money, just for a possibility of, well, you know. Now, THAT was funny.

Also, for the guy that I saw walking yesterday afternoon, down a busy main road, with the 10 balloons, the dozen roses, and the huuuuuge stuffed bear: I truly hope that she "appreciated" that.;) Cuz not many guys would be willing to look that nuts for their significant others.

I think my idea of romance now is more the pleasure of contenment. It is now not necessary to spend money, or preen or primp. It is only necessary to be there. Thanks for being there Grove.

Love ya cuz!

Peace allllll.......

Friday, February 11, 2005

Are You Talkin' ta Me?

I have several pet peeves. I know this is shocking, being that I am such a pleasant, mellow, kindly soul.;) Anyhow, I had to deal with one of the worst ones last week at work. To make a long story short, I cannot stand people who would rather talk ABOUT you than TO you. If you have a problem with me, please tell me first. Then you can tell anyone you want to and it will not be taken the wrong way.

However, if you have a problem with me and do not tell me, rather tell everyone else, then we have a problem. That is not only classified as gossip, it is also classified as unmanly, inappropriate, and unacceptable. Am I that intimidating? I wouldn't have a problem bringing an issue to you, know this. So why not show me the same type of respect? I was taught as a child that if you can't say something to someone, chances are really good that you shouldn't say something about them. And here I am thinking that I had passed the 6th grade already!

Many people do not agree with my approach. (Yeah, like this is unusual.) They would rather attempt to avoid direct confrontation, yet satisfy their urge to voice their opinion. I, on the other hand, just say what I have to say. Now, bear in mind, this does not mean that I am rude or mean-spirited about it. I try very hard not to be, simply because I am not trying to hurt anyone's feelings. If I have a problem though, I simply prefer to take the direct route to solving it, without all the bells and whistles. I mean, after all, we're all grown here, aren't we? If we are, could we please act like it?

Who knew selling pancakes could be this dramatic?

Peace allllll....................

Please Explain

I just saw a Valentine's Day commercial for either Sears or JC Penney, I can't remember which one. Anyway, they are showing their collection of jewelry, clothing, etc., all designed to turn a girl's head for Valentine's Day. Okay, this is all well and good; however, the commercial is ran with the song "99 Red Balloons" playing throughout. Excuse me and pardon me if I am mistaken, but isn't the song "99 Red Balloons" about nuclear war and death? Let's see......Valentine's Day, supposedly the most romantic day of the year (but more than likely one of the most depressing) and "99 Red Balloons", a song about NUCLEAR WAR and DEATH. I understand that whoever developed this commercial must have been born after 1985 and/or simply have no clue about music history but who really dropped the ball on this one?

Of course this is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to songs that I grew up with and songs that I have a connection with being used to hawk wares over the television waves. More on that later...muuuuuch more.

Peace alllllll................

Monday, February 07, 2005

Warnings

I have always been one of those ultra-careful people. I always read the warning labels on medications, machinery and whatnot. But as I was in the bathroom this morning enjoying a little light reading, i.e. the back of a shampoo bottle, it struck me, once again, that some of these warnings are absolutely ridiculous. So I looked in the bathroom and around the house and these are some of the actual warnings that I ran across.

On a shampoo bottle: for external use only. Hmmmm....I wonder what flavor shampoo one would drink with red meat or fish?

On a curling iron: do not use in or near water. Well, all I know is the last time I tried to use a curling iron in the shower, the humidity took the curl right out.

On a blowdryer: do not use while sleeping. I never sleep, so I don't have to worry about my blowdryer ever attacking me.

On a chainsaw: do not attempt to stop with genitals. Honestly, it really said that. I can understand trying to be macho, but come on now.

Does the world really have that many stupid people in it? Oh, well, like George Carlin said....if you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Peace allllll..............

Friday, February 04, 2005

I'm Baaaaaaaaaack!!

Well, I never claimed to be the smartest, most organized person in the world. Truth is, I forgot to pay my internet bill.........darnit! This was the same week I forgot to pay the phone bill too. Oh, the joys of adult life. So, because my ISP is sooooo busy it took them a WEEK to reconnect me. I am truly sorry for any inconvenience or worry this may have caused you guys. Color me red and call me stupid (Grover does all the time......you wouldn't believe the money we have spent on red markers!;))