This is where we went today, boys and girls. The Blue Angels air show. And I say this in my best surferspeak : "Dude.....it was AWESOME!!!" It was totally off the chain and all that other good stuff. If it comes anywhere near you guys (or girls), make sure and go see it. Hope you don't mind me telling you what to do and all. Have a great weekend!!!!

Peace alllllllllllllllll...........................

Still Not Smokin'

Just wanted to let everybody know :

As of 11:30 tomorrow night, I will have been smoke free for 3, count
'em, 3 WHOLE MONTHS!!!!!! Whoo hoooooooo for me!

As of right now, I have not smoked 3,626 cigarettes and I have saved $655.16. Of course, I really don't know what I did with all that money...but at least I know it didn't go towards poisoning myself:).

I'm not running marathons yet, but I'm on my way!

Peace allllllllllllllllllll................

Stuff and Such

You know what irritates me? Well, not so much irritates me as things I could do without.

You know when you're watching television and right when the 10 minute block of commercials comes on, they have someone say "Don't touch that dial (remote)" or "Don't even think of changing channels, we'll be right back"? Well, I do. That's right, I change the channel, if only for a second. I shall not allow some disembodied voice to tell me what to do and so, when this happens, I must go against the grain....I just must.

People who wear those #@$%****? bluetooth headsets all the time. Unless your company is in the middle of a hostile takeover or your wife is about to give birth, you don't really need one of those things growing out of your ear, do ya? I will tell you what everyone around you is thinking.....you are NOT that important and you really look kinda dumb. Sort of like those potbellied men who wear black socks with sandals and have their shirts unbuttoned so everyone can see their gold medallion nestled in a carpet of chest hair........yeah, about that dumb......and egotistical.

Ladies (and men) who let their underwear ride up over their pants. I don't care what your drawers look like. I really don't. If you want the world to see your bloomers, just don't bother putting on the pants. Like your butt cleavage has the world at large drooling...it doesn't. Maybe a little bit, like you get right before you throw up but beyond that....well, you know.

And now for something completely different.....

We bought the kids some bunkbeds....you know, the stackable kind that as they grow older you can take apart and make two twin beds. Well, turns out neither one of them would get up on the top bunk! So, we had to separate them. Oh, well....at least they have beds to sleep in....if they'll stay in them, that is. They really love to sleep with Mom and Dad.

The remaining animals are all doing well. They really love to sleep with Mom and Dad too. (Mom and Dad need to get a bigger bed)

And I stayed up until 1 a.m. last night (this morning) doing laundry and cleaning the house. Why? Because I didn't want to do it today:) Because I am at heart a lazy scrub who would much rather lay in the grass outside and read a book alllll day while the kids play. That's what summertime is for anyway.

See ya! Don't forget to use sunscreen!!

Peace alllllllllllllllllllllllll.............................

Terrible and Wonderful

I experienced something today that was both terrible and wonderful. It's kind of a long story so please bear with me.

Monday night, about 11:30, I was lying on the couch watching television. One of our kittens, Izzy, (the runt and therefore my favorite:)) climbed onto the couch and sat on my hip. I noticed that she was shaking and it scared me. I thought maybe she was sick and so of course I looked up "trembling kitten" on Google. And the best I got was maybe something had scared her. So, I wrapped her up in a blanket remnant I have, warmed her up, loved her up and after a few minutes she stopped shaking and went on to sleep.

The next day,(Tuesday) she looked a little tired but otherwise fine. She was eating and drinking and sleeping a lot, kind of like her brothers and sister, like any other cat on the face of the earth.:) She looked no worse for the wear and so everything was back to normal. But I still kept a close eye on her. Like I said, she's the runt so she's my baby.

Wednesday passed and Thursday was in full swing. Izzy was having a blast. She was running and playing and rolling and bouncing and trying to catch a fly (and almost did!) and climbing the curtains and beating up the dog.....just another day in the life of a well-loved kitten. Later that evening, I noticed she was missing from the group. See, her and her sister and brothers all hang together a lot and when they sleep they normally jump on a kitchen chair together. I saw them but not her. So I went to looking for her. (Little kittens can hide in a whole bunch of places you know.) I found her asleep under the couch. I picked her up and loved on her and when I laid her down on the couch, she cried for a second. She was breathing funny and acting like she was in pain. Our vet doesn't open until 8 in the morning so I settled in for a long and difficult night. I put some cloths in a little shoebox and she slept in there for the night with me in the livingroom.

Grover took her to the vet this morning and then he had to go to work. Dr. McCurdy, our vet called me about 10 a.m. and told me that she was really bad off....he had run some tests and couldn't tell what was wrong with her....she was anemic with petechial hemmorhages all over her body....all over. (A petechial hemmorhage is one that looks like tiny dots.) He said that he could possibly do a blood transfusion but that he didn't think that it would do any good because he didn't know what was causing the problem. He said that she was NOT in pain but that she WAS going to die. And that if we could come down there to sign the papers for euthanasia but she might not even make it until we could get down there. He also wanted to check the other 3 kittens. So I got in touch with Grover on the job site, told him what was going on and waited.......and waited.....and waited. It took him almost 2 hours to finally get off the site he was on...he came home and we went straight to the vet.

Dr. McCurdy checked the other kittens and they were all fine. He then began talking to us about Izzy and he said, "Here let me go get her and I'll show you what I'm talking about." He brought her into the room (in that same little Spiderman shoebox....I will never forget that) and we were looking at her while he was explaining the tests he had run and so on. Up until that point neither Grover or myself had said anything. When he put her back down on the cloths in the box, I said "Bless her heart", Grover said "Poor thing". We said it at the same time. Right after we said that, the doctor told us "She's going now." And so she did. She was in no pain, and she just slipped away.

On the ride home, we were both in tears. For different reasons. Grover was crying because this wonderful creature had just departed from our lives and he was heartbroken.

I was crying because my heart was hurting as well but I was also crying because I was thankful. I was thankful that I had experienced her life with her. Three months ago, I stroked her mother's head while she gave birth to Izzy. And today, I shared her last moments with her. She waited for us to get there. She waited until she heard our voices before she went Home. She waited....Say what you want, I know that she was waiting for US. And that is a gift I will be forever grateful for....that she knew we were there with her and that we loved her. I think maybe it made it easier for her....I hope it did anyway.

I know that being able to say good-bye made it a little easier for me. And it was something I can look at and say "That was a moment of wonderful" in a terrible day.

Love ya Iz. Your brothers and sister and momma send their love. And I've got a shoestring with your name on it:)

Peace allllllllllllllllllll................

To Sleep, Perchance To.....Something Like That

See this handsome young man? This sweet natured, tender hearted animal lover and the best big brother in the world? This is Lukas, one of the lights of my life, one of the stars in my galaxy. Lukas has a problem. Lukas does not sleep....not like kids his age are supposed to. He never has.

When he was a little bitty wee one, he was a night baby for the first couple of months. Up all night, sleep all day...fine. Then he switched on me and slept all night and was up all day....even better. And then he kept switching back and forth and has done so for the past FIVE years! The first year was not so bad, as I would just switch my sleep to adjust to his. But when baby brother Jakob was born, that was no longer an option. It was at that point in my life that I learned that sleep can sometimes be considered optional:)

When I say he doesn't sleep, I don't mean that he bounces off the walls all night, no. He will get in his bed and will lie in his bed ALL NIGHT, in the dark, and stare at the ceiling and think. (And of course I'm not sleeping either) He will then get up at sunrise (which he calls "rise and shine") and begin his day. At some point during the day, depending on how long he has been awake, he will finally fall asleep. He will then sleep from 6 to 8 hours and be up again for who knows how long. The longest he has stayed awake is 22 hours.

I have taken him to the doctor on many occasions, had him sleep studied and examined many times, all with the same results. There is nothing wrong with him. I have had his blood sugars, iron levels and thyroid tested. He has been tested for ADD and the other initials. Everything is fine. He is a normal, well adjusted, bright little boy. Who doesn't sleep. And the doctors say he is fine. (I did have one doctor who offered to write him a prescription for Klonopin so that I could get some sleep.......ummmmmmmmmm....NO....ya doof)

(Oh, and yes, I keep him and his brother on a nightly routine/schedule so that's not it)

Maybe he's just not a big sleeper. My father wasn't. He slept maybe 4 hours a night most of his life. Or maybe, once he starts school, he'll WANT to go to sleep at night. As long as he doesn't go to sleep in class:)

But this week, he's on track for an all night sleep. This week. Maybe it'll stick. Or maybe I'll be watching another night long infomercial. We'll see.

Peace alllllllll................

And good night Lukas and Jakob!:)

The Graduate

Sorry it's been a minute. Seems while I was going through my mid-life crisis, my beloved husband, Grover was going through his as well. Fortunately for him, he's much more of a problem solver than I am sometimes. This is what he decided to do with himself:

He is going back to college. Uh-huh, yep, that's right...I said it. He is going back to school. And not only that, he is going back for a degree in something TOTALLY unrelated to the field in which he currently works. He is going to obtain a Business Degree. Don't know what he will do with that but I'm interested in finding out. Does anyone out there know what one does with a degree in Business? I don't.

So, while he's doing that, I am going to just do whatever comes to mind..........writing, reading, cooking, sleeping, origami (yeah, right), bungee jumping (even bigger yeah right). I am going to reintroduce myself to myself for a little while....chillax a bit.....and then go from there. I think this new chapter in my life might be more fun than I thought.:)

Sorry I've been a bit boring lately. Maybe I just need to go looking for someone to tick me off. Or if I wait long enough, chances are they'll come to me.:)

HAPPY 275TH BLOG POST TO ME!!!!!!

Peace allllllll...................

Warning: Self Pity Ahead

For the past couple of months I have had this annoying sensation of being kind of draggy, just a little tired. Coupled with that have been these feelings of what I call "chronic nostalgia" (if you don't understand what that is you will one day...it's kind of hard to explain). And until today, I really didn't have a clue on what was causing it.

I knew it wasn't physical so much, considering the fact I have been making some strides to benefit myself in that area (i.e. not smoking, exercising more etc.). I knew that it was more emotional in nature than anything, given the bouts of nostalgia, not to mention some episodes of just flat out weepiness.

I figured out what it was this morning. And it was really simple.

I was sitting there talking to myself (I do this a lot....a LOT) having a very rambling conversation in my head and I said to myself about a particular thing "Well, you're 40 ya know...what'd you expect?" And it hit me like a ton of bricks.

I am 40. I will be 41 in about 2 months. I AM 40!!! And I haven't done a single thing that I said I would do when I was 18. Not one.

I'm not talking about getting married or having kids. A lot of people want to do that and actually do. I'm talking about:

going to Ireland and England
getting my degree in Romance Languages
writing a book
going on a cruise
learning to swim
winning the Nobel Peace Prize
finding a cure
going to a wine tasting
going to a Broadway play
having a Japanese tea garden
vacationing in Maine
riding horses in Montana

and a ton of other small, seemingly insignificant things. But if they are so small and inconsequential, why is the fact that I have not done them bothering me so much?

Because what HAVE I done, except get older? And time is ticking and here I am, still just trying to make it through until tomorrow.

I thought I had it beat....but this whole 40 thing will sneak up on you. It's tiresome, it's depressing, it's irritating. (They say 40 is the new 30. Well, tell a 20 year old that and see what they say.)

Hopefully, it's also only temporary. I know a lot of people in their 40's and they are doing just fine. Just a matter of adjustment is all. So, let me get to adjusting and so on.

Sorry about the depression....hopefully, I'll snap out of it before I hit 41. Because that's just another year further away from 39;)

Peace allllllllll.....................