Bodily Dysfunctions

***If the subjects of diarrhea, projectile vomiting and burping causes you to get a little queasy, please read no further. Thank you for your support.***

Okay, now that that's out of the way, here we go.

Rachel, mine and Grover's best friend, moved in with us about a month ago. Win-win for me because she is borderline OCD (translated: she cleans, A LOT), win-win for Grover because she works with him in the paint company and he never has to track her down. Anyhow, she is normally a very quiet person (how she and I got to be best friends I'll never know;)). The other night, I was putting the kids to bed and had Jakob down, was working on Lukas. (Yes, I lie down with my kids until they go to sleep...it's a comfort thing...for all of us). So, I hear Rachel in her bedroom cleaning. (Her bedroom is right across the hall from the kids' room). I hear shuffling, movement and the closet door rattling (sliding doors...I hate 'em). No big deal, just a little noise. Next thing I know, I hear this big BRRRREPPP. She sounds like she has burped up a small child. I know she doesn't know I can hear all of this and for some reason it strikes me as wildly funny. But I can't laugh out loud because I'm trying to get Lukas to sleep and it will just wake him up. So, I'm stuck lalying there in the bed laughing silently, laughing so hard I am shaking the whole bed. I'm thinking "I can't wait to bust her on this in the morning."

So, I get the kids to sleep and go get in the bed with Grover. Grover very rarely dreams or makes any movement in his sleep. Once he's down, he pretty much stays that way for at least 6 hours. But this night, he's dreaming and mumbling in his sleep. He appears to be having almost a nightmare, so I lie down facing him. (he is on his back, remember this) I begin to pat him on the arm to offer some sort of subconscious relief, hoping it will ease him back down into solid sleep. It is at this point, when I am about 6 inches aways from him, facing him and he is on his back that he turns his head, in his sleep.....and burps IN MY FACE! I just got up and went to sleep on the couch. Some days you just can't win no matter what you do.

And now for the past couple of days, a 24 hour stomach virus has been running through the house. It started with Jakob (my 2 year old). We're on the back porch the other evening, enjoying the beautiful spring weather and he walks up to me like he's going to get in my lap, and then he stops and throws up...all over himself and me. Okay, I could get over that, gross as it is, but he keeps throwing up. And he won't stand still until he's done. He keeps walking around in a little circle just hurling. I tried to get him to stand still until it was over with but he just kept walking. Maybe he was trying to figure out how much square footage he could cover, I mean, now that he has covered the both of us. After a very rough night, he felt fine the next day.

Then Grover and I got it yesterday. Felt like someone was just stirring my guts with a stick. I know that's icky but I aim for reality here. Fortunately, we have 2 bathrooms, so we rode out the storm on our respective toilet seats, with a bucket in front of us, because quite frankly, one end might get the other one started on this venture. The only truly disturbing part of the whole thing was the fact that Lukas was running from bathroom to bathroom so he could see who was throwing up and imitate them. He found the whole thing quite funny, which is how I know that 3 year olds were just sent here to test our nerves.;)

Anyhow, now that I know I have disgusted more than I few of you by now, I shall take my leave and clean my bathrooms. I know this was not the most eloquent, enlightening or uplifting post today, but hey, what can you expect from someone who was staring at the underside of her toilet all night?')

Peace alllll...............