Nicotine Cessation and Clarity of Thought

Wow, it's been a while huh?

When I quit smoking, almost a year ago, I never realized the effects that it would have on me mentally. Of course, I had read about the physical benefits and was told that the physical discomfort of withdrawal would not last very long. And that was true, all of it. I breathe better, I can actually smell things, I don't cough unless I have a cold and even then it is nowhere near as lung shattering as it was when I smoked a couple of packs a day. So, my body is grateful.

But I had never taken into consideration what my mind might go through during this process. It has been quite a trip. Let me explain.

Nicotine causes the brain to release dopamine. Dopamine causes a person to feel relaxed. Yes, that's an oversimplified statement or two but that's the upshot of the whole scenario. When one ceases ingesting nicotine, within 72 hours, the brain has started to basically rewire itself. (Brains are cool like that.) The brain is alright with that. You, as a new ex-smoker might not be......for a while. Because it takes a while to come through the other side of the looking glass.

For months, I could not concentrate. I would sit in front of this computer and say to myself "Self, you will post on your blog today. Self, you will read this book today. Self, you will do something that you actually have to think about doing for more than 5 minutes." And for the longest time, I just simply didn't have the level of concentration I needed to stay on task. It felt like I couldn't think straight.

I dealt with depression for a while, and then I dealt with anger for a while and then I just dealt with dealing with emotions that I used to suffocate with nicotine and tar. Because if you can't cover them up with chemicals, you just have to go through them. And that has sucked on more than a couple of days. But I got through it.

Anyhow, not trying to sound like an anti-drug campaign. But here I am, almost a year later and I am LOVING every minute of it now. It is NICE to be able to breathe, and it is NICE to be able to walk a mile, or two, and not feel like your lungs are bursting.

I know I'm probably not making much sense. And that's okay. At least some things have stayed the same.

Peace allllllllllllll.....................