Sunday, March 30, 2008

Detox Blues Update

Sorry I haven't posted in a few days. As you can probably imagine, it has been a little tense around my neck of the woods. But, it is slowly getting better.

I had originally tried to stop smoking on March 24 but when I realized that Prancer was not doing well and would have to be euthanized, well....not smoking went out the window for a couple of days. Just a couple though.

I smoked my last cigarette on Thursday, March 27 at 11:30 PM. I have been smoke free for exactly 2 days, 10 hours, 6 minutes and 25....26.....27 seconds. I have saved $17.50 and added 16 hours onto my life. Whoo Hoo!!!! Now, I am going to take that money I saved and buy me something to eat. Because....wow! I stay hungry. But it's okay....I'll knock off the extra weight I may gain.

Other than that, it really hasn't been as dreadful as I thought. Sure, my house is the cleanest in the entire state of Alabama, I have almost choked my husband on more than one occasion and my friends accuse me of having the thousand yard stare.....but my children have no clue that mommy sometimes feels like climbing the walls. And if you can keep your kids from having to deal with it, that's all I can ask. The little ones anyway.

Insofar as Josh goes, well, this has been a really good anti-drug lesson for him. Nicotine detox, like any other kind, no matter how well it goes, is crazy hard. And it certainly ain't pretty.

The only problem is this: I can smell a lit cigarette from a mile away...and then I really want one. Only for a few minutes, but that few minutes feels like a looooong time. I was sitting on my front porch yesterday, enjoying the fresh air (which I can actually smell now for the first time in 20 years) and my next door neighbor came outside and spoke. You know, usual neighborhood chit chat. Fine, except for that cigar he was smoking and waving back and forth. I was polite, courteous, engaging and conversational......all the while imagining jumping over the fence, grabbing that cigar and just smoooooooooking it down to the nub while I had a foot on his chest. But he will never know that:)

After he went back inside I had to get on the phone and call my friend to talk me down. Fifteen minutes and an entire bag of jellybeans later and I was fine.

I know that this is a very boring post today. Sorry about that. But unfortunately, I'm still in the mire. Should be better in a day or two and I'll be back to my old self. Baby steps....... I'm gonna go clean my house now....or choke my husband...whichever comes first:)

Peace alllllll...................

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Prancer

We had to have our Min-Pin, Prancer, euthanized yesterday. We are absolutely heartbroken. Especially Grover....he never had any pets as a kid (well, except for that field mouse that he kept in his shirt pocket until it ran away) and this is his first experience with losing one. And my heart really goes out to him. He was Prancer's favorite person and she was his favorite dog. And a dog I was proud to call my friend.

See ya at the Bridge, Prancer Dancer.

Peace allllllllll.................

Monday, March 24, 2008

Just Trying To Be.....Smoke Free

I am starting a new phase in my life, well at least attempting to anyways.

I am trying to stop smoking....cold turkey that is. I've tried the patches and had a REALLY bad reaction to them and quite frankly I'm scared of the pills. So, it's just me. The reason I'm even bothering to post this is I may post quite frequently in the next couple of days......and I may not make much sense when I do. Or I may be just fine. I'm just gonna ride it til the wheels fall off I guess and see which way it goes.

Anyhow, I'm 10 hours in right now....almost half a day...(baby steps...baby steps). That may not sound like much to some people but believe me, it's a whole lot to me :) Especially when you consider that I have already saved $2.88 and added 1 hour and 20 minutes onto my life. Grover's excited about the money saved:).....I just wanna be here longer.

Well, I'm gonna try to muddle through the rest of the day......the rest of the hour....the rest of this minute....the rest of this sentence, without caving. Can I do it? I think I can.....but I will be glad when the detox part is over and my head unfuzzes because right now concentration and I aren't really getting along....

Peace allllll................

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Thank You Jesus!


He Is Risen! Indeed!
Happy Easter! And it is my prayer that God pour His blessings on you all! God loves you and so do I!
Peace allllllllllllll.........................

Friday, March 21, 2008

My Grover

For those of you who may be interested a slightly more sardonic wit, I now present:

the Romeo to my Juliet
the Mark Antony to my Cleopatra
the cat to my dog
the chocolate to my peanut butter
the gas to my lawnmower

the love of my life,
my husband Grover

http://groversgripes.blogspot.com

Give him a whirl. He's a natural born smart-aleck too!:)

Peace allllllllllllllllllll..................

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

I Love My Children, Yes I Do

I love my children, yes I do. How do I know I do? Because I tell myself that at least three times a day. Sometimes I tell myself that when they have done something that is particularly kind or loving. Other times I tell myself that when I am questioning their sanity, or my own.

Whenever Jakob breaks wind, or poots, or passes gas (or as the OGO family calls it, "fluffing"), he will run up to me wherever I may be and say "My name is Jakob." I have no clue why he does this. He will be in the backyard and I will be in the den and he will run inside to let me know "My hame is Jakob." I am hoping he discontinues this practice before he starts school in the fall. If not, I am looking forward to a very lively parent teacher conference. (Not to mention the fact that the child loves broccoli so the amount of flatulence he produces is astounding for a 4 year old.)

Jakob: Mom may I have some candy please?
Me: No you may not.
Jakob: Don't say no momma! That's a vewy, vewy bad bad word!

Lukas hates wearing pants that button or zip. In other words, he only likes wearing sweat pants. When I try to get him to wear jeans he will tell me they are "too small" even if they are a size too big. Most guys wait until they are around 40 beofre they give up fashion for comfort. I suppose he is just advanced for his age. Either that or he just takes after me. He also like for me to bite his feet. Now, that was fun when he was a little baby and hadn't started walking yet. But now? You're 5..... I don't know what your feet have been in but chances are whatever it was, dirt was a major component.

Lukas: (hitting something in another room): I hate you!!
Me: Who are you talking to?
Lukas: The wall....it hit my head!
Me: Are you okay?
Lukas: Yes.
Me: Okay, then....don't say hate...it's a bad word.
Lukas: Well.....I still don't like you wall!

And then there's Josh....the great debater. "Not everything in the world is up for discussion" goes in one ear and out the other. "Why? Why not? Why? Why not?" is commonly heard in our household, and although I SWORE I wouldn't do this when I was a kid, I have committed the parental crime of telling him "BECAUSE I SAID SO!!!" more than a few times. Hey, it worked for my mom.......sometimes.

But I love them....I do. They have caused me to think faster, be more resilient and certainly more creative in my reasoning. They ask the questions that I asked when I was a kid. "Why are people sometimes bad? Why do some people have to be poor? Why am I here? What can I do? When will I be big enough or old enough to.......?" And they're the same questions I still ask myself. And we try to figure out the answers together.

But one thing....well, one thing never changes. They are all still so beautiful when they sleep. The peace and innocence on their faces is striking (and yes, even a 14 year old can be innocent to a large degree).

And then they wake up with messy hair, bleary eyes and morning breath;) And we start all over again.

I love my children, yes I do.

I really, really do.

Peace alllllllll....................

Monday, March 17, 2008

Celebratin' The Green

Happy St. Patrick's Day to everyone!

This is the first St. Patrick's Day that I will be celebrating in 11 years. Let me give you a little background.

My best friend Rachel and I have known each other for 22 years. I met her when we were both working at Shoney's and we have been road dogs, best buds, friends for life, whatever you want to call it, ever since. The only holiday that Rachel really dislikes is St. Patrick's Day. This is because it was her mother's birthday and her mother (also named Rachel) was killed by a drunk driver when Rachel was 14. So, she has pretty much avoided the day in any kind of celebratory way.

Now, me, on the other hand. I am half Irish and half Native American (Apache/Cherokee). The Irish side is my mom's. After Christmas, St. Pat's was my mom's favorite holiday and as such, she raised me in the grand tradition of the green. Shamrocks, leprechauns, my pot o' gold, Danny Boy and the whole nine yards. Every year, she would make a special outfit for the day, a green pantsuit or a green dress. She was so incredibly proud of her Irish heritage that it was contagious. Between the two of us, we finally managed to get even Rachel to enjoy the day, as her own mother had. And it was that way for a long time.

On Monday, March 17th, 1997, St. Patrick's Day, my mom passed away. She was talking on the phone to my brother and had a massive heart attack at 7 p.m. and was pronounced dead at 7:16 p.m. I was absolutely devastated. My mom, on the other hand, given her proclivity towards really wicked humor, was probably standing next to me (in spirit form of course) laughing like a maniac. Because, although I know we can't choose the day we die, if we could, she would have chosen St. Patrick's Day. I can hear her now "What better day to go out on?"

Anyhow, it was years before I even thought about celebrating this holiday again. It just didn't seem right without her here, ya know? But now that I have children, it just doesn't seem right to NOT celebrate it, to pass down those Irish traditions that I learned at my mother's knee. Because that's one of the ways that we connect with who we are and where we came from.

And so, this year it begins. I will teach my children the legend of the Blarney stone, the lyrics to Tura Lura Lura, and how to find a four leaf clover. And as they get older, I will tell them about a wonderful woman who found moments of joy in a treacherously difficult life and who celebrated those moments of joy with reckless abandon. A woman who taught her daughter to do the same. I think she might be proud of that.

Happy St. Patrick's Day, Mom!! And Happy Birthday Mrs. Rachel!!

(Don't forget to put your green wings on:))

Peace alllllllll..............

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Juno?

No, I am not referring to the title of the movie. I am using dialectical Southernese, a form of language that is unable to be translated by anyone other than a Southerner. Juno is actually a shorter way of saying "did (or do) you know?", as in "Juno that man over there? Well, he's looking like he knows you." Call us lazy if you want to, I prefer to think of us Southerners as language efficient.

Anyhow. Let's see.....

I was watching Dr. Phil earlier today. I don't know why either. Just something about a loud, arrogant Texan that just greases my skillet. And he had one of those mother-in-laws on there. You know.....one of those. She doesn't like her daughter-in-law, for really no good reason, and she attempts to disrupt the girl's life as often as possible, without regard to her own son and the fact that he loves this woman. Now, I have seen this happen before, on televsion and in real life. And I just want to ask one question: Why in the world don't these husbands tell their mothers to butt out? I know, I know, they love their mothers, they don't want to hurt their feelings, blah, blah and blahdeblah. But still. If you're old enough to be married and raise a family, then you are old enough to look at your mother as a real person and have the fortitude to protect your wife from any unnecessary cruelty. If you want to still be a little boy, go back home and live with your mama.

Not saying all mothers-in-law are bad. I happen to like mine. Of course, she lives 2 states away and we only see her every 4 years or so. She talks to Grover once a week on the phone but that has nothing to do with me. We manage to co-exist at this point very happily. Of course, if we lived in the same town, we would probably manage to drive each other crazy. But that's another story for another day. She lives in Florida, the Spring Break State.

Speaking of Spring Break (nice segue huh? huh? yeah, I know:)), it starts here next Monday. This means I have a notebook sized spring cleaning list for everyone in my house. Josh gets the yard work. Ah, so nice that he's only 14 and I don't have to worry about him going out of town, getting drunk and ending up on a "Something Gone Wild" video during break. I just have to worry about him accidentally digging up my flowers from last year.

I know that eventually all of my kids will have to grow up and leave to have lives of their own. That's why I am so enjoying my days with them now. Because, right now, I'm still cool, hip, smart and funny. We all know that I will suddenly become dull, corny and out of touch soon enough:) And then they will all turn 40 and realize that no I didn't. They just thought I did.

But, meanwhile, Spring is here. New life, new growth, new perspectives, both good and bad, on a lot of things. New kittens, new kites, new flowers. New sunrises to greet and new sunsets to enjoy. Shaking off the slumber of winter, I suddenly don't feel 40 anymore. I feel a whole lot younger.

Juno what I mean?

I think you do.

Peace allllllll................

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Back In The Saddle Again

Good morning. Today is Tuesday, March 11 and this is the news from Sprinkleshouse.

First off, we have the weather. As you may or may not know, it did snow over the weekend. Accumulations reached approximately one kazillioneth of an inch and by the time the sun came up the snow was gone. This did not however stop my husband from taking pictures of our kids outside making the required one snowball. Yes, the snowballs were only the size of marbles but that's beside the point. The snow was there and they were in it. This week we return to rain and heat. Sunny early becoming darker later.

In local news, Lukas and Jakob got haircuts yesterday and survived without so much as one tear. Of course, they held my hand the entire time and so I am typing with one hand today as the other one is still waiting on the circulation to return to it.

On the political scene, my 14 year old Josh has recently re-discovered that our house is not a democracy. It is at best a benevolent dictatorship, a Sprinkleocracy if you will. This news was met with howls of protest, which will probably continue for the next 4 years. We'll keep you updated.

On to sports: our daily cat-dog Wrestlemania event was held promptly at midnight. The cats made the most noise but the dogs look like they got the short end of the stick as they will go nowhere near the cats today. Rematch is scheduled for midnight tonight while everyone is trying to sleep. Get your tickets at the door, which we will be kicking the dogs and cats out of.

In economic news, we are still broke. So I guess that's not really news is it? Oh, well.

In other news, Sprinkle has a therapy appointment this afternoon, and while she is anticipating a pleasant outcome, it has yet to be determined if her husband will be on time to drop her off. Stay tuned.

And in the "old news is still good news category": God still loves me, I still love Him and today always has a chance to be better than yesterday.

And so we leave you with these burning questions: will Sprinkle clean her house or cook dinner today? Will Josh do one chore without rolling his eyes or complaining? Will Lukas and Jakob scratch the cats or will the cats scratch them? Will Grover lose more hair? Will Sprinkle lose more patience?

We'll keep you informed, whether you want to be or not.:)


Peace allllllllllll

Monday, March 10, 2008

My Girl


Happy birthday Briana Grace. You would have been 13 years old this year. It's been a long time. 11 years and it still feels like yesterday.
I love you.
I miss you.
Always,
Mom

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Winter Wonderland (Yeah, Right)

So this is what our local weatherman is saying:

It's gonna rain Friday morning. It's gonna snow Friday night. It's gonna snow Saturday morning. So what? you may be saying. No big deal. Oh, maybe not where YOU live, but here......oh here, baby puppy, is a different story indeed.

See, it doesn't snow here very often. And when it does,it's never over a couple of inches. That means it snows 3 inches every ten years. And since this is Alabama, deep southern United States, we are not equipped to deal with it. Equipped? you may be asking. How equipped do you have to be for 3 inches of snow? Once again, you must remember that this is Alabama. This is what happens when they forecast snow for this area.

1. The grocery stores are overrun with panicked customers, buying all the milk and bread they can get their hands on. (Why do people buy milk and bread in preparation for a "snow event"? I have never been able to figure that out.).

2. The hardware stores are overrun with panicked customers, buying all the flashlights, kerosene heaters, generators, candles and whatnot associated with cold weather.

3. Wal-Mart is overrun with panicked customers, buying all the hats, gloves and blankets they can grab.

4. They break out the snow plows and the salt trucks. All 2 of them, so that the panicked drivers who may happen to see one snowflake don't run off of the road.

5. The school board sets up an overnight vigil to determine whether or not schools will be open for the next day. No one wants these panicked parents to have their children caught out in "the weather".

Seeing a theme here? Perhaps "panic"? This is Alabama. This is what we do.

Doesn't matter that they have forecasted a "snow event" several times in the past 6 months and it has come to naught. Doesn't matter.

Doesn't matter that it only snows a couple of inches every 10 years. Doesn't matter.

Doesn't matter that any child in this area from the ages of newborn to 10 years old has NEVER seen a snow covered yard. Doesn't matter.

This is Alabama. This is what we do.

Why do we do this? Is it because we're inherently dumb? No, we're not. Well, most of us aren't anyway. We're desperate. Desperate for a change of pace. All we ever get here is rain, and not a whole lot of that, considering we're still in critical drought range. Rain and heat, that's us.

So, even though most of us KNOW it's not gonna snow and we know that all these preparations are in vain, it gives us something different to do. We've been around out weathermen long enough to know that they don't know what they're talking about anyway. We're not THAT dumb.

By this point you may be asking "So, Sprinkle, are you going to be part of the panicked crowds rampaging through those stores?" Well, of course not. I did that 5 years ago and I still have the unnecessary stuff I bought in a storage room. What I am going to do is this: I am going around the corner to the Dollar Store, buy some cheap generic hot chocolate for the kids and a couple of cans of soup for myself. Why am I doing this when I know that it's not really going to snow?

Because you never really know do ya?:)

Peace alllllllll...................

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Fussy McFussy and the Fussytons

You know, I am not even sure what I want to talk about today. Got a lotta things going on in the noodle but it's all kind of rumbly and mixed up. One thing I do know is that I have a few complaints I'd like to put out there, but other than that who knows? So let's start stepping and see where we end up.

It's time for Grover to refill his medications for the month. They are for his cholesterol, blood pressure, etc. They all do a really good job, no problem there. The problem is that one of these medications, for a months supply is $200.00. You heard right, 200 smackaroonies. For ONE prescription, for ONE month. There is of course no cheaper generic for this drug, so you don't have a choice but to pay the money. And even with insurance, you only get 80% of it back (after about 6 months of red tape) so you can put it on the next refill. The AMA is one of the most proficient drug dealers in the world, because they will ALWAYS get you on the comeback. You can get a better deal off of your neighborhood crack dealer. And it's not like you can say "Oh, well, then I just won't take this drug." I mean, you could, but then you would probably die a lot sooner than you have to. No wonder people get their scripts from Canada. Capitalism is a wonderful thing but come on.

Why is the government so intent on getting people to quit smoking, while there is almost no mention of banning alcohol consumption. ( I am aware that we tried this once during Prohibition and it didn't work out too well.) Yes, cigarettes do kill people. Yes, secondhand smoke does kill people. So does alcohol and drunk driving. As I have said before, I have never heard someone say "Don't know how I ended up going home and having sex with a stranger. Maybe I shouldn't have smoked so many cigarettes last night." I have also never seen someone smoke so many cigarettes that they cussed their boss out or slapped their kids. I know, I know. People shouldn't smoke, people shouldn't drink and people really shouldn't eat red meat.......but either catch 'em all in the crosshairs or leave well enough alone. But if the government tries to ban/limit all of them, wouldn't that be considered an undue invasion of a person's freedoms? Hmmmm....I dunno. All I know is they ain't gonna be shutting down a McDonald's anytime soon. (They make too much money and pay too much in taxes....sounds like maybe the government is on the take.)

Okay, I'm starting to sound like a nut job now.

And another thing: I am getting SOOOOO tired of turning on CNN, Fox News or even my local news, or opening a newspaper in search of real, relevant news and instead seeing pictures and blurbs about celebrities. God bless 'em but I don't care about Angelina's baby bump or Brad Pitt's new haircut. I don't care what kind of toothpaste George Clooney uses or how many hairs Sean Penn has on his backside. I really don't. The stories about these people that are being shoved in our faces (Britney's rehab, Amy's rehab, somebody's latest arrest) as a form of entertainment would otherwise be considered simply pathetic if they were about regular people. The fact that a woman has lost her children because she has some serious issues is not entertaining for me. That you got a picture of an Emmy winning actress picking her nose is not something I am particulary interested in.

I know I can change the channel or turn the TV off. And I often do....that's how I end up here:)

Oh, and one last thing. I am SO, SO, SO sick of Oprah. I am tired of seeing her everywhere, hearing her everywhere. She likes a book, 50 million people buy the book. She likes the shoes, 50 million people buy the shoes. She endorses a particular candidate, 50 million people vote for that candidate. I mean, like I said, I am all for capitalism and hers makes for a very compelling rags-to-riches story. But, when all is said and done: she is a TALK SHOW HOST. That is what she is, people. She's no Edgar R. Murrow, Bob Woodward or Walter Cronkite. She's not even a Matt Lauer. She holds no degree in literature, journalism, or even fashion. She is just a regular person who connected with a lot of other people,as a TALK SHOW HOST. It's kind of a sad world, when people will donate to a charity because a talk show host says it would be a good idea, versus just doing it on your own. Who are these people that allow another person to think for them?

Well, my spleen has been vented, my chest has been unloaded. Hopefully I offended no one. And if I did, well, wait until tomorrow......I may offend someone else. :)
Whoo, I'm spent.

Peace alllllllllllllll..................

Monday, March 03, 2008

Thinking and Wondering

This is what I am doing today:

I am sitting in the den on my computer looking out the window wondering when the storms are going to start. Today's high was 75 and tomorrow's high is going to be about 50. See, I don't know how it is in the rest of the world but when that happens here in Alabama aka the bowels of the world, it means it's a gonna come a gullywasher afore the night is done. We are sitting in the crosswalk of Tornado Alley, so March is always a fun month here.

(When my husband first moved here 6 years ago, he knew that we had tornado "issues" here but he was unaware of the floods, electrical storms and occasional mild earthquake. He also didn't know that the city in which we live is actually built over a huge underground lake, and every once in a while a sinkhole will just pop up out of nowhere. Poor guy, no wonder he hates this town;))

I am wondering what the big deal on the Gary Busey kissing Jennifer Garner on the neck on the red carpet is. He saw her, he kissed her on the neck in front of a kazillion people. She's a married woman, this is true but I don't think he was trying to get her into bed. And we all know that Gary is a little "eccentric" but ultimately harmless. Those voices in his head have never told him to hurt anyone.

I'm thinking that , with one or two exceptions, the whole American Idol group is kinda sucky this year.

I'm wondering just how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

I'm wishing that they still had SchoolHouse Rock on television. That is how I learned the Preamble to the Constitution when I was nine years old. I can still sing it today. (For you young folks that don't know about School House Rock, just go to YouTube).

I'm wondering what my cats would say to me if they could speak human. Probably something like: "You call this a meal.....I spit on this! Now you may pet me for 3.5 seconds and then you may feed me again...now." (Oh, yeah, they have a French accent as well. Don't ask me why....ask them.)

I know what my dogs would say if they could speak human: "Throw the ball....throw the ball...throw the ball!"

I'm wondering how much I will inadvertently embarass my children as they get older.

I'm just sitting on a cornflake waiting for the milk to come.

I'm wondering when I will start wearing Mom Jeans.

I'm wondering if I will ever act my age.....I hope not. That's boring.

I'm wondering what my neighbors would think if I suddenly came charging out of my house and ran down the street naked. Knowing them, they would probably say something about the weather. (It's kinda warm today, ain't it?)

I love my neighbors!

Have you ever talked to your appliances and told them to hurry up or do a better job? Or is that just me?

Now I'm wondering how I'm gonna break up this fight that's about to erupt between the cats and the dog. Darnit, I see too much through this window sometimes. Maybe I should just put a curtain on the thing.

I'll think about it.

Peace alllllll.........................